He didn't mean it

Day 5

Dear Diary:

Every time I write, it hurt my arm so I'm going to make this short.

You remember how I said Josh was coming to my house last weekend? And he had a surprise for me?

Well once he came in, he grab my waist and pull me close to him. He told me he had a surprise and pulled out a condom. I told him I wasn't ready for that but that made him mad.

He said he been waiting for this moment and he not going to pass this perfect moment. I tried to push him away but he punch me in the face.

I cover my head from him but if he wasn't hitting my face, he was hitting my legs. He pull me by the hair.......

Sorry, it just so much bad memory. :,(

He pulled me by the hair and push me to my bed room. He drop me on my bed and ripe out my clothes. He hover over me and grab both my hand over my head. I cried out to stop him, but that just made him madder. He started to undress then..... :,(

HE RAPE ME!! HE FUCKEN RAPE ME!

He left bruises all over my face and legs from the struggle and when I went to school on Monday, I tried to hide it but my friends found out. They don't know he rape me but I bet they know it was him.

I know he didn't mean it but some part of me is saying to leave him. I love him too much to leave him behind. He may have rape me but it better than someone I didn't know. Right?

Better go, I need to rest and hope I don't have another night mare.

I know Josh didn't mean, but then why would he do it?

AN: She never told us about that night of them together until a month later. When she felt sick in her stomach. We thought it was sickness or the flu until she had morning sickness and craving. It all add up to pregnancy and it made all of us mad. She told us it was for the love of each other but I knew she was protecting him. I knew he rape her but she didn't want to tell us.