• monsta x • one shots •

netizens and self esteem

Jooheon centric
 
      With a big sigh, Jooheon grabbed the fluffy white towel and bottle of water waiting for him next to Hyungwon's backpack.

The dance routine for Jealousy was the definition of impossible, meaning the group was exhausted at the end of each practice session. Jooheon especially, was covered in a sheen of sweat. The extensive diet and exercise routine wasn't making it any better.

After taking a quick break on the cold studio floor, he took his phone out to check up on the lovely monbebe.

A warm smile danced across his features, reading the comments of the supportive fans.
His phone vibrated, and a couple new comments popped up. Curious, Jooheon scrolled down.

Ew, Jooheon looks so fat compared to the rest of the members.

He's so ugly.

Disgusting.

The heart that was just dancing with excitement was now sinking to the bottom of Jooheon's soul in despair.

Throwing the phone down in frustration he stared into the full-length mirror in front of him.

Am I really that ugly?

I thought I was losing weight.

Tears began to form at the edges of his eyes, blurring his vision and making the ceiling lights glare into Jooheon's eyes. Biting his lip, Jooheon turned his head away from the mirror to close them in regret.

I don't deserve to be an idol.

A hand rested on his shoulder, making Jooheon open his now water-filled eyes to stare at Changkyun who was staring at him in concern.

"괸차나?" (Are you ok?)

Jooheon quickly rubbed away the tears from his wet cheeks and turned away.

"음...(mm...)"

The feeling of two warm arms embracing him suddenly overwhelmed Jooheon. Looking up in surprise, the sight of only Changkyun's black hair greeted Jooheon. He smiled.

"Thank you." He whispered into the maknae's ear.

"Tell me what happened when you're comfortable." Changkyun whispered back.

Jooheon nodded, patting the back of the maknae with gratitude.

Hyunwoo's voice called the two over to start practice again in five minutes. With a sigh, Changkyun lifted his hyung up and off the floor; a slanted grin on his face to cheer up the solemn Jooheon.

With a comforting smile, Jooheon walked with his one and only maknae to their hyungs.

_______

  Minhyuck's arm reached over Jooheon's shoulder as the two maknaes came up to the rest of the seven.

       "There's a little chicken saved for you two. If you came any later Hyunwoo would have eaten em all." Minhyuck whispered into Jooheon's ear, earning him a small chuckle.

"Must be good chicken then." Jooheon replies with a dimples grin.

He quickly sat down in the last empty spot on the leather sofa, making Changkyun sigh heavily to only plop down onto the hardwood floor.

As his hand reached to seize a leg of fried chicken, Jooheon felt a gentle hand rubbing his back.

"You okay, Jooheonnie? You seem kind of down." Hoseok asked, his voice quiet yet concerned.

With a bite of thick thigh flesh in his mouth, Jooheon turned to Hoseok and smiled.

      "I'm good."

       "Jooheon-ah." Kihyun's stern voice called.

       Jooheon stopped chewing instantly. He turned around to find the unnerving expression of the main vocalist—an expression filled with confusion that was never before on Kihyun's face.

"Did you see what they're saying about you?" Kihyun barked.

Jooheon flinched slightly; his hands now shaking in horror. Of course Kihyun would find out.

His momentary shock gone, Jooheon desperately gathered himself together and gave Kihyun a small grin.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about this 바보(idiot)." Kihyun's phone was thrusted into his face, making Jooheon read the ugly comments once again.

Forcing the terror out of his face, Jooheon grabbed the phone out of his face. The edges of his mouth trembled slightly; the facade wasn't going to last any longer.

"Ignore those." He muttered; his grin now gone and replaced with a shame-filled frown.

"Jooheon-ah..." Hyunwoo's voice dripped with concern.

The air was silent and dreadful. Jooheon's eyes were now filled to the brim with tears that were on the verge of free falling.

"They're telling the truth. I'm disgusting. I'm disappointing. Nothing you can do about it." Jooheon grumbled again. A lump formed in the back of his throat, unwilling to go down and instead making Jooheon suffer in despair.

      "I should just quit—"

      Comforting and warm arms embraced Jooheon from the back. Hoseok's dark hair came into the corner of Jooheon's blurry vision.

     "Ignore them Jooheonie. They're just desperate for someone to notice them." Said Minhyuck bitterly as he chewed a bare chicken bone.

     A couple pats on his left shoulder told Jooheon that Hyungwon was sitting next to him.

     With the overwhelming sense of love, tears spilled freely from Jooheon's tense eyes.

     "아이고(Aigoo)." Kihyun sighed, placing his phone on the black table and walking over to Jooheon.

     Kihyun plotted down in front of Jooheon. The vocalist's hand made its way on top of Jooheon's yellow hair and started patting it gently. His signature hamster smile creeped onto Kihyun's face, giving Jooheon a flash of nostalgia. How long has it been since he was able to smile like that.

        If they're giving me this much love, I don't need to worry about anything else.

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        Hello there

       I'm rly tired :) midterms was a disaster and I felt like writing but I realized my brain was fried so sry this crappy one shot was the result

     Oh also the place where Jooheon talks about Kihyun's hamster smile is a reference to a future one shot (maybe)

    Thanks for reading :)