The distance (original)

Take a breath. (Also i have my memories here which nobody has heard.)

Oh hey. I don't think I've had an Authors note yet: I'm Eko and so I just wanted to recommend the people two of these characters are inspired by my two friends. Check out Hello_Im_Crazy279 and caffeinetea for content far better than mine. Also, this is something where I talk about an abusive bitch I had in greater detail than ever. And yes, I did almost have a panic attack but I need it off me.
<><><><><><><><><><><>

I DON'T NORMALLY really do this, I don't like calling people, I always message but...

"Hey Echo! How are you?"

I sigh and take a deep breath.

"I just... never mind."

"No, Echo, I'm your friend."

"I just can't continue the investigation, AJ. She's the main suspect."

"Is she who i think it is?"

"Y-Yeah."

"It happened years ago. What is still so-?"

"I have one very vivid memory of her and I don't know what happened. We're talking on my couch and suddenly she's on top of me—."

"You don't mean..."

"NO! I'm certain of that. But she's known to have..... have done very sexual things with people. And she didn't quite understand bad touch. I'm speculating but it may have been just that. I don't know, I'm probably being self congratulating, I have never been someone that anyone would—."

"You're not! Stop it! You're setting a bad example, Echo! It's not self congratulating to suspect that to have happened."

"I should remember what happened. I don't know if she just beat me like normal or if it was something else. Only thing I know is that my heart starts racing and my throat starts hurting every time I start talking about it. It's old, I can't say anything about what happened, she was too young and I'm not sure at all but the situation felt weirdly sexual looking back to what it was. It hurts to think about it too long but I just—don't people remember these things? I seriously don't! I assumed I had gotten beaten up until I heard she had a thing for putting people in oddly sexual positions. Admittedly never ever touching them from what I know or what has come out but I just—."

"Echo.... if it doesn't hurt too much, can you walk me through your relationship with this girl?"

"Okay. So I was an outcast for most of my life, nobody talks to me, nobody takes a moment to pay attention... anyway, then this girl comes and starts talking to me, being kind. And immediately, we were friends who saw each other every afternoon after school... she was a year younger than me. Yeah anyway, I don't know when the violence actually started. Probably when she got to come into our house. She lived close by. Well anyway, beat me up almost daily for a while and did, like with everyone else, very sexual games, never with me, just like played with toys because she was childish. She would scream every time she had to go home and when I went over, she locked me into her bedroom when I had to leave. I suspected she may have had some kind of abuse, her mother was very strict and forceful with her but I didn't pay attention to that because she was only kind towards me, maybe because I was a kind kid. Anyway, when the beating was too much for me to take, I started talking more to my other friends, one of which came up with a plan to get back, I had a crush on the guy so I followed suit to this illegal plan. So yeah, I am a criminal to some degree though I payed back until my apology was taken by her. Anyway, between these times, there was an another girl in our group of 'I hate this person', who I like to call Diana. Diana ultimately pushed me to go with the plan by getting along with the person I was taking revenge on, sending me messages such as 'I will tell the police' 'die already' 'i hate you', the whole bunch. So the abusive bitch became friends with Diana by manipulating me to be the bad guy. Which, oh I most certainly am. But yeah, Diana became abusive too but main mentally, due to the amount of power she had she.... made me even worse of an outcast. So that's when the guys were my only friends and everyone else either physically or mentally attacked me. I punched everyone back, even the ones that only hurt me mentally. I remember pushing someone into a fire extinguisher very vividly. So anyway, the abusive bitch and I had a moment where I caught her on a lie so badly I used it as blackmail to get her to call Diana and tell her she'd lied. That abusive bitch did it, in front of me. And I ain't regretting making her cry. So Diana and I were friends again and this was the time she mentioned these sexual games, being playing like a female and male cat mating and so on. And sense then I haven't been sure about what my sofa memory actually is. Then I start thinking back to going into saunas, swimming, being naked in front of each other because that's normal.... and remember feeling really uncomfortable with it. I don't know why I was so uncomfortable, looking back at that same time with Diana or others, I haven't been uncomfortable there when we were in a sauna or anything alike. Other than being uncomfortable with my gender but that's a whole other thing. So did something happen. And if it did, was I too naive to understand what it was?"

There is a moment of silence before I send a text, sending the address and what the squad is supposed to do to a fellow officer.

"We can get her behind bars with me seeing her," I say, after reading the message I got back.

"What are you gonna do?" AJ asks.

"I don't know. I don't think I can blame her, she no longer is responsible for that time. I don't even know what happened or how it is so blurry. I've been threatened to be ducked many times by guys because I was annoying and probably they didn't know what I was doing. I remember the inappropriate touching for an another person, from an age where I understood what that meant. But I don't remember anything before that, I don't remember if it was inappropriate or it wasn't. I have only understood after I understood what sex means and how it's wrong for someone else to touch you if you feel uncomfortable. But still I get a really weird feeling when I think about that moment, a feeling I never get when I KNOW she hit me. I never had a problem with those memories, the ones I don't remember terrify me far more," I say.

I laugh.

"Sorry, AJ, I just seriously needed this off my chest."

"Anytime, Echo."