The Kiss Of Darkness {Soukoku}

A Kiss Of Darkness

A buffet full of people.
A patio inside a hotel building.
The chandelier was slung by the ceiling
Candles ignited the ballroom even more.

Diamonds glimmering whilst pearl sparkling.
So luxurious, everyone would be amazed. I am.

But my heart, it's drumming inside me. Asking to be free. What if it flees? Would I be me?

I stood there on the very end of the ballroom. Observing the only one, my love. He was wearing a cream tuxedo. The end of his coat danced, as the wind blew from the balcony. His red hair represents the igniting flame, that is enough to burn my heart into pieces. His blue eye, enough to cool me down at ease.

Nakahara Chuuya. The most beautiful creature I've ever encountered.

I took a sip of my drink. It's bitter.

Not as bitter as my broken love to you. I loved you, but you hated me. My heart was shattered into infinity. No one could ever understand.

I walked away, heading to the farthest balcony in this massive ballroom. "No need to be here anymore. My existence was not a beautiful tableau after all." I whispered, not noticing the ginger near me heard it.

The more I live, the more I will disgust you, the more I love you, the more...I hurt you...

I arrived at the balcony of my choice. No one's here. What a shame. This place, it's mesmerizing, it resembles the beauty I was in love with. The sky was colored with sunset, the muffled sound of waves from the ocean were imaginable. The one that was unimaginable were my feelings towards you, Chuuya.

I sat at the veranda. I looked down. My feet were swinging back and forth, I was enjoying the breathtaking scenery. I closed my eye when the wind softly touched my skin. If only Chuuya was here too. I chuckled. If only I can see this kind of scenery again. Maybe... someday, with Chuuya.

A smile was formed on my pale lips. The most sincere smile I've ever done. My head was in serene, tranquil, everything peaceful. But my heart was the opposite. I groped my vest near my heart. Still hurt.

Why? Why does love needed to be hurt? Love should be the most serene thing in this universe. Maybe if I love someone else, rather than Chuuya Nakahara, I would be happy right now?

No, I wouldn't. Loving Chuuya makes me the happiest. And I will always be. If only Chuuya loved me back. But, one day, Chuuya might leave me.

This world is gorgeous. But nothing stays here. Everything will be destroyed. Everyone will die. Including, Chuuya Nakahara.

I don't want that. I don't want to taste the feeling of losing Chuuya like that. I just can't. I'm afraid. The only thing left for me to do is.. die first before him. Yes, suicide. And I will be free from the scary thoughts of losing my beloved Chuuya. I smiled, thinking about the petite mafia I was in love with.

Sorry Chuuya, I'm so selfish. I'm afraid of losing you. I scared to encounter the pain.

"Goodbye, now Chuuya."

"Dazai! Stop!"

My hand was caught, preventing my body from falling from the veranda. I glanced at my back. It was Chuuya, he had this expression when he was about a fight me. He was looking at me like there is only the two of us on the earth. I look at him back, he was in a tizzy. What a picturesque sight.

"Come down, don't do this Dazai. You don't want it." Chuuya told me without ever releasing our hands. His blue eyes were glimmering. His lips were locked to a straight line. His eyebrows were creasing.

"I love you, small Chuuya." I say, solemnly. Looking deep into his glimmering ocean eye. Way more beautiful than the ocean itself.

I never stopped gazing at his figures. I smiled, leaning on my back as I fall down the veranda. The muslin on my hands and neck started to split and flew randomly.

Now I can go. I don't need to be afraid of losing you anymore, Chuuya.

The only thing I didn't expect was Chuuya's hand never left mine from the first we encountered. Chuuya was in front of me, looking at me. His locks were flying up his face so, I can see his pretty face clearly. He was crying.

He activates his gravity power and sent us floating in the air and he punched me.

"Are you stupid?! Stop doing your crazy suicide!" He yelled while sweeping his tears. "If you die, I can't live! Because... I love...you."

It's the moment I lose my mind.

I pulled him by his wrists until our torsos were all together. Then, I crushed our lips together, earning a gasp from Chuuya. I push his face tighter on mind. He closed his eye, he didn't even squirm. Letting our lips touch. My body feels hot, he's hot.

I use my power, letting us fall again. Chuuya opened his eye and tried to push me, but I grabbed him as tightly as I can. Locking our lips together.

We crashed on the sea water. It's cold, but the world was so hot. I didn't let him go, not his lips. Not him. I feel like I am the luckiest man alive, or dead. It's so dark here. We are going deeper until our conscious ceased, kissing. The dark kiss.

He loved me back. I didn't expect this. He was afraid to lose me too. So, I saved him from the pain. He won't have to be afraid of losing me anymore since we are together until the end.

We will be together forever.

At last, my dream was fulfilled. To commit a double suicide with a beautiful person. I lied about the women thing to Chuuya. I had always wanted him to be my partner.

Thanks, Chuuya. You did find me a partner to double suicide with after all.

It is you.