Sweet Dreams - Midoriya Izuku x Reader -

[12]

A/N- To set the mood for this chapter, listen to "when the party's over" by billie eilish.

[[Warnings: Insinuation of suicide]]

Your eyes opened a few hours after Izuku fell asleep, landing on the ceiling with no light in them. Dread filled your person as you thought of the fate that awaited you, but you couldn't bring yourself to cry at the thought of it. In your eyes, you had brought this sad life upon yourself, and now it was time to atone for the sins you committed. You laid on your back, Izuku on his side, head resting just above your shoulder, and arm around your waist, fingers interlocked with your own. You rolled your head to the side to look at him one last time, counting the freckles on his cheeks, imprinting his face into your mind. Deep in thought, you contemplated the life you could've had if Kurogiri had never found you, and if it was Izuku promising you love and marriage rather than Tomura. You pictured yourself happy, a student at UA with Izuku, training side by side. Eventually having a beautiful wedding, smiling and laughing, covering each other's faces with wedding cake. In your mind was a vision of what your children might look like with Izuku's messy green hair and freckles. A tear fell down your cheek as you stared at him, wondering about what could've been. 

Keeping hold of Izuku's hand, you shut off his senses, slipping out from underneath him carefully and stealthily. After successfully leaving his bed, you let go of his hand, giving him his senses back, although he stayed sound asleep. You walked across the moon lit room to his desk, and scribbled a note to him hastily, before opening up his bedroom window quietly. You stared at Izuku for a moment, before slipping out of the window and into the night.

- - -

With a small groan, Izuku rolled away from the wall onto his back, rubbing his tired eyes with the back of his hands. After a few seconds of doing so, he remembered you to be in his bed, and shot his eyes open, turning his head slightly in search of you. With early morning daylight pouring into the room, he concluded that you weren't in the bedroom. He sat up, confused by your absence and walked to his bedroom door, stepping into the hallway and his bathroom in search of you. When his search ended without finding you, he rushed into his room, looking for any sign of you. His frantic green eyes landed on a piece of paper with cursive writing on it, before he snatched it up and read it's contents quickly.

Izuku,

I've known you for such a short amount of time, but there's so much I want to say to you. You saw redeemable qualities in me when no one else did, not even myself. Thank you for that. Izuku, you're going to be a wonderful hero. You're so kind, gentle, determined and good to the core. All important qualities of a pro hero. But unfortunately, there will always be those that can't be saved, regardless of how hard you might try... Izuku, you were the lighthouse in the overwhelmingly dark and cold ocean of my life. As much as I wish I could stay in that warm light with you, I'm afraid that I would only dim it. I refuse to ever hurt you, even with your consent. Please do not blame yourself, you have given so much to me, no words could ever express my gratitude and admiration for you, only actions. Nothing's better sometimes than goodbyes. Please, become the hero I know you can be. 

Yours,

Y/n

 Izuku's hands trembled as he finished reading your last note to him, tears welling in his eyes as he read it over and over. Your words were vague, but he understood the meaning. He fell to his knees as grief overwhelmed him over his first failure to save a life.