tendencies prt 1

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put your head back

and pray you drown in the rain

cold drops mingle with the tears from your eyes and soon you can't decipher 

when darkness fell you didn't even notice the cold

dead silence is deafening around you

it's been this way for weeks 

you're never happy 

not when the blade opens your arm

not when the smoke fills your lungs

not when he kisses you on the mouth and tells you you're his

whatever made you smile anyway?

the last time it wasn't difficult to laugh..when was it?

the therapist's words go in one ear and out the other

your mom asks why you haven't been eating 

your dad tells you to grow up

your brother is somewhere else with girls you can't name

probably on drugs too

you can't hear them because they have nothing to say

you've heard it all before

the only thing that feels new

is those pills you found in the drawer

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