Torn

Chapter Three.

Back to Elyssa's POV

I felt the vibration of the floor as I slammed the door to my bedroom. Why did she even choose to come home? She could've just stayed at the "bar" getting "drunk." I'm so confused... Why couldn't she just have told me earlier. I fall on my bed, and it lets out a small squeak. I could tell that I hurt my mom with what I said, and how I had realized what my father had been doing to her, but I also know that I spoke some sense to her. I had really hoped that she understood me. Understood where I was coming from. As I laid in my bed, the tears ran like my eyes were faucets. How could someone do that to someone they love? Is my father really always at work? I lay here in confusion, staring at the ceiling, heaving sobs coming and going, my eyes blood red and my hands shaking like an earthquake in California. Thank god it's the weekend, so I don't have to go into confrontation with my friends, and so I didn't have to explain the whole situation. I just wanted to put it behind me, it's the past now, even though it happened five minutes ago. The intensity of the argument left a scar on my heart, and a new thought to think about, not only one thought, but many thoughts. Many thoughts of the outcomes there may be. The future. If my mom and I will get away from our toxic dad. If they will divorce. I've never had divorced parents, and never did I think about it, because they were not only an often thought that came to my head, but because they were so so bound to each other, and so so in love in the beginning, when they had me, but now, they have empty arguments. They say they hate each other, and they constantly remind each other of the bad thing about themselves, about the relationship, a little too often, and I never payed attention because I didn't want to listen to them fall out of love. Eventually, my mom walked into my room, and wiped away my tears.

"Honey, I know how you feel." She said with caution. She knew how I felt, and I didn't blame her. I AM her daughter, after all.

And after that, that's when I said something stupid. 

"Yeah, I don't believe that." I said with an attitude. She looked hurt. Her eyebrows slanted, and she batted her eyes. She frowned, slightly, and her eyelashes started to dampen, until' a single tear emerged from her eye, and then became two, there, and then there was many. And of course, seeing my mom cry, hurt, so I started crying. I pulled her in close, for a hug, so she could cry on my shoulder. Seeing like this hurt so much.

"Mom...mom. Please, please PLEASE, tell me the full story. I need to know."

"Okay... it all started during our first argument. We had been arguing over the bills for some reason, and he shoved me. I got mad, and I had shoved him back, and he fell into the counter. The look in his eyes.. rage. I can't explain it, it was so vividly there. The way he wrapped his warm hand around my dainty arm, and how the palm of his hand had trickles of sweat as it hit my cheek. Once, twice, three times. I tried pulling away and his grip tightened, leaving an engravement of his fingers, but with bruises. His caving palm turned into a fist, and I developed a black eye." 

She couldn't finish. The silent crying, turned into heavy sobs, and she hung her head low and just let her sadness consume her. Needless to say, I felt bad. That was her high school sweetheart, abusing her, and she pretended it wasn't happening. She loved him so so much, and she still does. She doesn't want to let him go, because she'll know he'll move on way too fast. I know he would, and she does too. But sometimes, the ones you love the most you need to let go, especially for this cause. Then, she looked into my eyes.

"I think we should go away. Move somewhere new. Hell, even if we have to, we can move somewhere you can move schools. I can't live like this anymore. He's not only hurting me physically, but emotionally, and mentally. We just need to get away. Anywhere, anywhere but here, love."

I was shocked. She seriously just asked that, and I was filled with a mix of feelings. Sadness, excitement, and so many more. I wanted to move away, I really did. But what about my friends? The three people I care about, leaving them? I suppose they can visit.. so why not? I remained making eye contact with my beautiful mom.

"I understand, and I think it's the best choice right now. We need to go away, somewhere safe. Somewhere away from that monster. We need to find you a new life, where you can find someone better than he ever was, someone who treats you like a queen, someone who loves you for YOU. He was none of that, and he will never be. There's no use running back to him. Running back to him is like reading a book when you know the ending. You know what's going to happen. You're simply better off without him, ma."

The tears ran down her face, stronger. When she cried, she couldn't keep quiet. And as she cried, I realized how much I needed her. How much she needed me. Together, for once, we were stronger. She made me look back and remember all the times I took her for granted. She was working overtime for our corrupted family. She wanted me to feel loved. Most of all, she wanted to be the mom who knew her daughter loved her, and I did, but I never showed it. She's the best mom ever, but I never told her that. Tonight, would be the first time I ever told her that I love her.

"Mom?..." I asked.

"Yes, honey?" She coughed out between sobs. And the tears, became endless."

"I love you. So much. Never forget that, please.

"I love you too, my sweet, sweet, daughter."