A Journal I Never Wrote

Dear Society,

I shoulda died about a thousand times or maybe more

I packed up my stuff to leave, and like usual, Kacchan was waiting for me. He had asked me what took me so long, I didn't say anything. But honestly I was hoping he'd give up and go home if he waited long enough. I guess I was wrong. Kacchan and his friends just beat me up more than they usually do. Kacchan burned my uniform, I think he left a scar on my stomach. Well, not like it matters anyway. It'll probably get covered up by the scars I'll get when I get home.
I got home and the first thing they do? Slap me. I was 10 seconds late walking in the door, and I was greeted with a slap, which was followed by hair pulling and me getting thrown across the room. They proceed to kick me and burn me. This isn't right, this isn't safe. But it's better than out there.

Don't remember any lives that ever came before.

After Mom died, Dad became really violent. I knew he was upset, and I always tried to comfort him. But all he ever responded with was violence and more alcohol. I tried to tell Kacchan about it once, only once. He told me that I was being a wuss. He said I was just being a "Deku" and told me to get myself together. He left that day, and never looked back.

In my head I'm more dead than alive

I was walking to the station and someone asked me if I was sick. I honestly didn't understand why they asked until I saw my reflection. I had dark eyebags from my lack of sleep out of fear of my dad and "mom". My hair has always been a mess of my mother's green curls, but it was even more so than usual. My skin was pale, if I didn't have a pulse I would've thought I was a ghost. Not to mention the ugly scar that crept out of my uniform and onto my neck just above the collarbone. Courtesy of my father. As tired as I was, I probably walked like a zombie too. I think I understand why she asked if I was okay.

It's a shame, you won't understand

I was sent to the nurse that day, they said I looked ill. The nurse was nice and offered me to sleep in one of the cots. But after I'd laid down, she questioned why I was tired and how much sleep I was getting. I'd told her that I simply didn't sleep well. She then asked why. I was about to tell her that I was scared of my father and "mother" but then snapped my mouth shut. I'd getting a beating so awful I wouldn't be able to move if I told someone about it. So I lied. I told her that my neighbors were loud, and they had a dog that barked constantly. She told me she knew I was lying and asked for the real reason. I told her I simply didn't sleep well and rolled over in the cot, hoping she wouldn't call my dad.

Gonna let the rain come down on me and wash away

After what happened in the nurse's office I really didn't want to go home. I was terrified she called after I left, and I did not want to go home and find out. So I decided to walk around, lucky me, it started raining. I took shelter in an alleyway, there's a dry cardboard box. I think I might stay here for the night.

Gonna give away my innocence, my sympathy

I was just about to fall asleep in the cardboard box I'd found when this guy started walking down the alley. I was scared it was my father, so I stayed still and didn't move, let alone breathe. He stopped right in front of me and turned to look at the box. He opened it up and stared at me like I was the last human on earth. Then he smiled, his purple skin stretching to his ears and surgical staples keeping his face together. He offered me a hand that I took hesitantly. He stood me up and asked a very odd question. "Are you a villain?" I honestly didn't know how to respond to his question, I was bewildered. Did I look like one? Was I acting like one? Fear had laced my body, I still feel my nerves tingling. I had stuttered a no to him. His smile was replaced with a devilish smirk, and he asked me: "Well why not?" He gave me a slip of paper with an address. He told me if I was ever thinking about sleeping in an alleyway again to just go there instead. Then he left.