zayns pov
currently I'm in period 3, history class. my favorite class of the day. not because of the subject but because of the boy who sits right next to me. harry. he seems so intimidated by me, and I hate that, I really do. I don't want him to be scared of me. but it is partially my fault. I was the one who made the bad boy persona of myself, cant take that back now, but I can make him think of me differently then some "badass popular kid" I want him to think of me as his, and I want to think of him as MINE . why do I love this boy so much, I have a girlfriend and it isn't right to her, but i don't want her. I hate to say it but I don't want her. I want him and only him . I want him to be mine forever, no matter what happens. for him to be mine till death does us part. I want him to be mine at 3am talking about random nonsense that comes out of our mouths. I want him to be mine while i take him out on little picnic dates at the local park. I want him to be mine so I can spoil him in gifts and anything else his heart may desire. I want him as mine. I want harry to be mine and only mine
I get knocked out of my trance when the bell rings. that means its lunch time. harry stands up before me and its so cute seeing him hurry to his locker before he gets caught in the big crowd of people running to lunch. I just want to be there to protect him.
"hey, zaynie!" i hear a familiar voice shout as I'm putting my stuff in my locker. its louis. now yes I did say all my friends are assholes but hes different. he understands me and knows the real me . well to an extent. he doesn't know about harry, yet. but I'm planning on telling him. I think telling someone would be the best for me to be completely honest. and lou is the only one I can trust. i might have alot of "friends" but none of us have a bond like me and him. I respond with a soft "hi" and he already knows something is up. "what's up z? something on your mind?" I want to say yes but i know I can't cause he wouldn't shut up till I told him what it is. "nope, just stressed" I lie. I know he doesn't believe me but I think he can tell i don't want to say what is bothering me. "okay well, me and E are going to starbucks for lunch, wanna come?" I politely decline the offer , although I'd love to go. but I want to admire my harry, who's not my harry yet. and that's what hurts the most.
once Louis leaves I'm sat at my typical table with a couple of my friends, liam, niall, josh , and nick. as I go to get a sip of water I see my girlfriend Gigi, walking towards me. I sigh, quiet enough that no one hears me luckily. see I don't hate her. I really like gigi, but not like that, like a friendly love. my whole heart belongs to a man that doesn't even know it and probably doesn't even like me anyways. I feel so bad for Gigi, I wish I could tell her. I don't want to lead her on. but I'm also scared of what she might think.
"zaynie!!!!!" i hear her shout and see her long blonde hair flopping around with every strut. "hi gi." i manage to say, I hate everything that is happening right now. as I'm trying to get my water for the s e c o n d time, gigi takes the bottle out of my hand and places my hands on her thighs and proceeds to pull me in to a long makeout session that makes me sick to my stomach. the saddest part is when I turn around to see if everyone is watching us since she just made a big scene, I'm surprised that no one except one lone pair of green eyes is. harry .my harry who's not my harry just saw that. I want to apologize so bad that it drives me crazy. I excuse myself to the "bathroom"and i decide to just go meet lou at starbucks.
