Christmas Behind Bars #simplychristmascontest

Chapter 4- You Beter Watch Out

     "So you haven't had any luck at all?" Wanda placed a mint chip milkshake in front of Darcy with a hollow thud. "What's wrong with the guys at that shelter? They must have eaten a lot of lead paint as kids."

"There aren't many guy volunteers," Darcy licked the whipped cream off her straw and let the sugar fill the cracks in her heart. "I only ever saw one man there; he was a vet."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Was he cute?"

"I wasn't really paying attention," she admitted while searching her memory for an image of his face. "I think he had dark hair, and he was pretty tall." Suddenly, her mind retrieved the discarded mental picture of the kind veterinarian. "Ok...yeah...he was a stone cold fox. He had really nice eyes...they were blue. And just the right amount of stubble on his face. You know what I mean...just enough to be dreamy, but not enough to look like a boxcar hobo," she sighed and pounded her head against the table a couple of times. "Argh! I let him get away!"

"Well, that's the most significant bummer of my lifetime!"

"Oh really...your lifetime? What about my lifetime."

"I can see where it would be the pits for you too," Wanda smiled sympathetically.

"At first I planned to have an imaginary break-up before Christmas, so I wouldn't need to bring anyone home, but my mom is so excited...she might need to start popping Prozac if I don't bring an eligible man for dinner. I have to find someone now...for her sake."

"How much longer do you have?"

"It's December 15th now, and I have to be at my Grandma's house on the 21st, so six days. Not nearly enough time to find a real boyfriend." Darcy held her head in her hands and heaved a sigh which originated in the depths of her soul.

"Looks like Craigslist is your only hope now," Wanda shrugged. "Get out your phone."

"What for?" Darcy pulled it out of her jeans pocket and held it just out of Wanda's reach.

"Let me set you up a listing," Wanda lunged forward and snagged it from her hand. "Without going into the disgusting details...I know how to set up an ad that will get you a lot of attention."

Darcy watched as her friend beeped, bopped, and boooped her way around the internet until a satisfied smile curved her magenta lips. The daisy behind her ear bobbed as she nodded in approval.

"Read it out loud to me," Darcy instructed before taking a long pull from her milkshake.

"Alrighty, here we go," Wanda sat back on the chair with a look of triumph. "Gorgeous red-head looking for a Christmas miracle. Do you need a date for Christmas? Well, look no further! I am currently single and need a date for a family event. I am willing to pay handsomely. Need someone who is available from December 21st through the 25th. Call me for details." Wanda looked up at her with raised eyebrows. "I have your phone number in the post, and now just one more thing..." her tongue peeked out from between her unnatural colored lips as she hit a button, and the flash of the camera nearly left Darcy wishing she could afford a seeing-eye dog.

"Do you really need to add a picture?" Darcy blinked away the swimming black patches obstructing her vision.

"You betcha," Wanda continued beeping around on the phone a moment longer. "Anyone can say they're gorgeous, we have to prove that you actually are. Do you want to hire a man for this thing or what?"