Christmas Behind Bars #simplychristmascontest

Chapter 11- Getting to Know You

     The colorful lights on the tree twinkled in and out of focus as Darcy sat alone on the couch staring into the void. Other than the sparkling beams on the fresh pine tree, the house was completely dark. Taking a quick sip of tea from the mug she held, she sighed. It felt good to be alone...to think everything through. Even though the kiss happened hours earlier, her lips still tingled and her heart still fluttered as she brought her fingertips to her mouth.

When he kissed me, it didn't feel like an act. She smiled and hope blossomed in her heart. Then she remembered his eagerness to get the police involved in his theory regarding her future sister-in-law. All hope was violently uprooted, and her fingers dropped from her lips and down to her lap. Even though the plaid pajamas were designed for warmth, an icy chill swirled down her spine and a sense of loneliness welled in her chest. Tears blurred the lights on the tree, and when she blinked, they trailed lazily down her cheeks. Who am I kidding? He doesn't love me. He's just biding his time until he can tell the police what I've done.

Her mind turned down another path...a darker one. He's right...I did kidnap him. I completely ruined his Christmas. His sister was counting on him; she doesn't have anyone else. How could I be so selfish? Thoughts of his sister sitting alone at home on Christmas day brought a fresh wave of guilt and shame. What possessed me to do this? Is my life really so bad that I have to live in a fantasy world...commit a crime just to escape it?

Even though her life wasn't what she envisioned it to be, she was happy. The only times she really felt unhappiness was when she toiled to live up to the cookie cutter standards her parents raised her to believe were normal. When she was at home in the city, she was free to be happy just as she was. Only when she was home and constant reminders of how far she fell short were kindly brought to her attention did the sadness creep in.

At the age of thirty-two, completely single, with no prospects, she was certainly not living the life her parents wished for her. Still, without the continual reminders, she never experienced the loneliness her family believed she must suffer from. With her work at church and her newly acquired love of volunteering at the animal shelter, she had so many things in her life to bring joy. When she counted her blessings, they seemed innumerable.

Guilt weighed heavy on her heart. Her behavior since Thanksgiving was unpardonable. Going to the lengths of kidnapping a living person to make her visit home more comfortable went beyond anything she ever imagined herself capable of. Not only was it against the law, but it also showed how unthankful she was for the gifts God so freely gave her. She was blessed, but instead of focusing on all the wonderful things she had, she kept her sight on the one thing she did not have.

Tears coursed down her cheeks, and she bowed her head and asked forgiveness for her ungrateful heart. She thanked God for her blessings and asked Him to show her how to make things right with Preston. Of course, she needed to let him go back to his family, but in her heart, she didn't want to let the magic of the moment fade away never to return. Even though she knew he couldn't possibly care for her, he made her feel special in a way even her family couldn't. Lifting her head, she sighed. The burden of remorse was eased, but the question of what to do next still wandered through her mind.

"Mind if I join you?" Preston's voice beside her instantly brought fresh tears standing in her eyes.

She nodded, and he took the seat on the couch beside her. Keeping her eyes averted, she hoped he wouldn't see her crying.

"Are you ok?"

She nodded, then shook her head as the tears in her eyes slipped down her cheeks.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it right now."

"Then let's talk about something else," he gently brushed a tear from her cheek.