Shoot Your Shot (Hockey/Fratboy Shawn AU)

Part Six

"I wish I could say I'm surprised," Brian pauses, looking at you with disgust, "But i'm fucking not y/n."
"Watch your fucking mouth." Shawn seethes, arm wrapped around your shoulders, holding you into him protectively.
You're speechless, nothing you can say would help soothe the way Brian was feeling at this given moment. He takes a step away from the both of you and laughs lightly to himself. Sending you both one more glance as he shoves past you and mutters, "Enjoy your breakfast."
The two of you stand there a moment, Shawn looking down at you sympathetically, his large hand running up and down your arm. He goes to say something to you but is cut off by the waitress.
"Mendes for 2?" She asks with a smile, completely oblivious to what had gone on just seconds prior. Shawn nods and leads you with him to your table. The first couple minutes of breakfast are a bit odd to say the least. Shawn can sense that the encounter with Brian had put you off and was trying his damnedest to lighten your mood. He was more than polite to your waitress and ordered for the both of you, even ordering you a frozen strawberry lemonade.
Shawn was in the middle of telling you a story about the one time he tripped up the dorm steps and broke his wrist when you interrupt him. "Do you think Brian is going to tell Geoff and Bella about us?"
His expression quickly changes, his eyebrows furrowing as he reaches over the table to hold your hand. "I'm not sure to be completely honest." He pauses looking down at your painted fingernails before continuing. "I wouldn't be surprised if he did, but I do know that them knowing won't change how I feel about you. It won't change that I want to be with you."
You sigh, hand reaching across the table to caress his jaw, "I don't want it to change anything, but you know how unpredictable it could be. I don't know how they're going to react and I don't want them to think badly of me for being with you."
He leans into your touch and smiles slightly, "And I don't blame you for being worried about being seen with me-"
Your eyes widen and you cut him off. "That's not what I meant Shawn, I don't mind being seen with you I just don't think I could handle being judged harshly by my two best friends, and to be fair, you don't exactly have the best track record with them."
A voice snaps you out of your intense conversation and the waitress places down your plates gently, asking if either of you need anything before walking away. You quickly work at cutting up your pancakes, Shawn doing the same. "I know I don't have the best track record, but how can I help clear that track record without showing them that I'm serious about this, about us." You don't reply, not knowing what to say to that and he is quick to cover up the silence. "I know you aren't just scared of what they'll say, I know you're scared that I might leave you because of them y/n."
You drop your fork onto your plate and lean back in your seat, arms crossed over your chest. "Really, Shawn? You think that's why I don't want them to know, the fact that I'm scared you might leave? Why would that even cross your mind, are you considering leaving if it doesn't go well?"
His eyes widen and he reaches across the table for you, but you hit his hand away and he runs it down his face. "No, that's not what I was implying, honey."
"Sure sounds like that's what you were implying." You mutter, grabbing another bite of your pancakes and rolling your eyes. The next five minutes, the two of you eat in silence, the tension thick in the air.
"Maybe we should tell them if Brian doesn't," Shawn says out of nowhere. "Would you rather them be mad that we're together, or have them be mad that we're together and on top of that have them mad we hid it from them?"
You nod, your pink lemonade running dangerously low as you take a sip. "You're right, they should know. It's just a matter of how to let them know."
Shawn's phone cuts the two of you off and he picks it up, glancing at you and saying, "Don't think we need to let them know."
"It's Geoff isn't it?" You whisper, playing with your straw.
Shawn nods at you and answers the phone, "Hey Geoff." You watch as he sits there silent, listening to what he has to say. "I'll meet you there."
Before you know it, Geoff has hung up and Shawn runs a hand through his hair and looks down at his phone, "He wants to meet up with me at my house in 20 minutes, I'll drive you home and then I'm gonna meet him."
You nod and ask, "did he sound angry?"
Shawn laughs lightly and takes your hand to kiss the back of it before reaching into his wallet to throw a twenty dollar bill on the table. "Let's just say he definitely wasn't very happy about it."
The drive back to your dorm was tense to say the least, neither one of you spoke. The music was kept on low and there was the dull pitter patter of the rain hitting the windshield as you drove. He dropped you off at the door of your dorm so you wouldn't have to fight through the rain to get there, leaving you with a small, chaste kiss. Luckily, Bella was not yet back from Geoff's, so you didn't have to worry about her being on your back, yet you couldn't help but worry for Shawn.
Shawn took his time on the way back to his house, no rush to get there seeing as he would have to face Geoff as soon as he did. Yet, it was inevitable and he pulled into the driveway just as Bella was pulling out. Getting out of his car, he watched her pull away from the house, no doubt going back to give y/n hell. She catches him staring and flips him off before speeding down the road back in the direction Shawn had just come from.
Shawn entered the house expecting Geoff to be at the door ready to yell, however to his surprise, he was not. Shawn kicked his shoes off to the side and made his way cautiously into the house. He found Geoff nursing a glass of whiskey, bent over the kitchen counter as Brian spoke. Brian was the first to notice Shawn, and the little bastard looked up at him with a smirk. "Welcome."
Shawn glared daggers down at the boy, he was slightly shorter than Shawn and in no way would be able to hold his own in a fight. "My house, get the hell out."
Geoff watches the encounter between the two of them silently, and Brian grabs his coat and keys waving a goodbye before looking at Shawn and saying, "was just leaving anyways, have fun."
There's an awkward silence after he slams the front door shut, and he can hear the small hum of his car through the merciless raindrops falling outside as he pulls away.
Geoff throws his glass back, finishing off his drink before placing it on the counter and looking down at his hands. "I don't know what you want from me, Shawn. I don't know what you want from her either, I'm so confused by you, man."
Shawn pulls his coat off and hangs it over the back of one of the kitchen chairs, moving to grab himself a drink and pouring Geoff another one. "What do you want to know?"
Geoff climbs onto a barstool, Shawn following suit and sitting directly next to him before saying. "Why were you with her this morning?"
Shawn gulps, knowing Geoff would be less than happy to know he had spent the night with you last night. However, Shawn also knew that keeping it from him would not be smart. "I went to see her last night." Shawn pauses waiting for Geoff to speak, but he doesn't. "I needed to see her, I needed to tell her how I felt."
"How do you feel Shawn?" Geoff asks, defeatedly. "Do you feel like you want to break her heart? Is that why you keep fucking with her feelings? You're too fucking inconsistent, and I can't even tell if what you're saying right now is the truth. I don't trust you."
Shawn takes a sip of his whiskey and looks over at Geoff, his face showing clear desperation. "You don't have to believe me, you don't have to like me, or like the fact that I'm with y/n. I don't care as long as I have her."
"What happened last night?" Geoff asks, shoulders slumped, head hanging lowly between them.
"I went over to talk to her, and she was her normal, stubborn self. Didn't wanna let me in, but I waited outside the door until she did. I apologized for everything, told her how I felt." Shawn mutters over the rim of his drink.
"How exactly do you feel for her?" Geoff asks, now taking shots straight from the bottle sat in front of him.
"I," Shawn pauses trying to gather his thoughts, "I don't know-"
"You don't know?" Geoff's voice raises a bit at this point and Shawn is quick to catch himself.
"No, I know how I feel, I just don't know what to call it." Shawn pauses, finishing up his drink and taking the bottle for a swig, his thoughts about to spill out. "Everytime I see her, I swear my heart drops into my ass, man. Just knowing she's around me makes me all fidgety and panicked, and I try to play it cool, and hopefully she can't tell how nervous she makes me, but she fucking terrifies me." Geoff is now staring at Shawn as he speaks, the boys neck craned back as he smiles up at the ceiling and continues to speak. "When she says my name, I get all light headed and happy, and it's all so soon, so quick but even the day I first met her I was in shock. I put up this wall to try and keep myself from her; to try and keep myself from letting my feelings get the best of me. And as I was trying to protect myself from getting hurt, I hurt her. I hurt her so badly, man." Shawn gulps, head now bowed down, a stray tear rolling down his face. "She's so amazing, she's forgiving, and understanding and so kind to everyone, even me after I treated her like complete shit! To make all of that so much worse, she's drop dead gorgeous, and when I woke up next to her this morning I was so scared. I was scared because I looked down at her cuddled into me and I realized that I could wake up to that every morning for the rest of my life and be the happiest I've ever been." He wipes his tears laughing a bit and looking a Geoff before saying, "I tried to leave her this morning, told her that I was leaving because I wasn't used to the morning after being with a girl. Biggest lie I've ever told. I had to leave because I'm so so scared of her man. I hate feeling like this, she's had me wrapped around her pretty little finger for so long and this morning it hit me and I was so overwhelmed I just had to get out of there. But of course I had to bash my foot into her coffee table and wake her up, best mistake I've ever fuckin' made."
There's a comfortable silence between the two of them, a more than half empty bottle of whiskey nestled in Shawn's plan. The rain is beginning to stop and there's sun shining through the kitchen window, illuminating their backs. Geoff places a hand on Shawn's back and says, "You're in love, dude."
Shawn whips his head to look at Geoff and a huge smile crosses his face, "I fucking hate being in love, man."
The two begin to laugh together and Geoff says, "You aren't supposed to like being in love, man. It's supposed to be messy, and risky and absolutely terrifying, but in the end it's the most amazing thing."
Shawn nods, laughter dying down as he looks over at Geoff, now serious. "I already apologized to y/n, but I think I need to apologize to you too. Since I've met y/n, I've let my attempts to protect myself not only hurt her, but you as well. You're my best friend, and there's no excuse for the way I treated any of you, but I'd really like to have you back in my life. I miss you, and I really need you at this point in my life. I wanna turn things around, or at least try to and making amends with you and the girls is my first step."
Geoff grabs the both of their glasses, pouring more whiskey in each glass before clinking his against Shawn's and smiling, "Good to have you back, man."
Meanwhile, as the boys catch up with one another, Bella is just making her way into the dorm room. You're on cloud nine, and dancing around the room as she enters, and somehow you're completely oblivious to her presence until she pauses the song. The minute she opened the door, all the piled up anger had washed away, to see you more stress free than you had been in months made her happy. The entire car ride here, she was mentally preparing what she would say to you, but that entire speech completely skipped her mind as soon as she saw you. You were glowing.
You whip your head around to look at her and smile shyly. She beams back at you before saying, "It's Shawn, isn't it?"
Nodding, you bite your lip, waiting for her to begin to yell. Yet, she doesn't. Rather, she kicks her shoes off and grabs your arm, pulling you onto the bed alongside her and saying, "Spill."
You sigh, throwing your head back and starting, "The Shawn I've gotten to know in the past 12 hours, is the most amazing person I have ever met in my entire life. I've spent all this time convincing myself that I hated him to help protect myself from falling in love with a man who would never want me back. Then he strolls right into my life just last night and spills his guts to me and I broke." You pause to look at Bella who is staring at you intently. "I broke so hard, Bell. I didn't know if I wanted to cry or jump his bones, so of course I did both." She laughs at your words and you wait a moment for her to calm down before continuing. "But in all seriousness Bell, I'm terrified of the idea of being with him. I'm scared, but I love the thrill. I'm ready to jump completely into him but I'm afraid he won't be there to catch me. I want to be with him but I'm constantly asking myself if this is what I really want. It's all so quick and new and I think that, that I'm-" You pause, the words caught in your throat.
Bella squeals and jumps on top of you, "You're in love with him!"
You laugh, hugging her and letting a small tear roll down your face, all this time you've been fighting an uphill battle with yourself and within seconds all that turmoil in your mind, disappeared. "I'm in love with him, and I hate it."