Sa Babaeng Minahal Ko Kahit Walang Cleavage

December 20, 2016, nasa Savemore kami naghahanap ng pang-Noche Buena at some for the New Year's eve na rin. Our first stop was the Vegetable Section - got some cabbages: petchay at repolyo, also, tofu, kamatis, beans, patatas, at maraming carrots for her medication, among others na pinamili namin.

Her face and her radiance were far different from how they used to before. Dati, whenever she delicately picked ang mga nilalagay namin sa cart, we so knew that it was all for her recovery, all to support her medication. Dati, ramdam na bothered kami pareho sa kalagayan ng health nya. Pero recently, natural na ang mga ngiti nya: apparent na hindi "pilit lang." She seemed free than freer. Her name is Keren Luana Rodrigues "with an S, not with a Z" - she would say. She is twenty-six and is two years married to her "hunky and handsome husband" (she would also say that), that's me. After we graduated, we found jobs and in four years' time, we got engaged and married - happily.

"Hon, red wine ha? mamaya."

"Naman. SOP," Ngiti ko as we continued our grocery shopping. "By the way, may dressing pa ba tayo?"

"Meron pa," mahinhin nyang sabi. But as we chose among the mangoes, she said something to which I hardly answered at nabigat and dibdib ko. Na, kung hindi ko lang napanghawakan ng mahigpit ang sarili ko, I could have cried. "Hon... you will love again ha?"

She has been, with us : family nya, friends, the church, at ako, courageously trying to conquer her breast cancer and the anxiety tagging along with it. When we were yet in high school, she was teased sa pagiging "patag" o "aparador" o "walang hinaharap" not knowing na tinanggalan sya ng suso to lessen the chance of breast cancer - family genes - but no one in the class knew.

"Someone new, you mean?"

"Malamang?" she snapped smiling, to which I chuckled kunu.

"Hanapin mo ulit si Michaela mo; hindi pa married yun."

"Hala, Hon, have you been stalking her?" rhetorical and I was just trying to make light of it. "Yoko, Hon. Hindi na sya maganda ngayon."

"So you have been stalking her?" her hand on the waist, mataas na boses and the fierce look. Hindi sya pwede ma stress! Kinabahan ako, automatic, niyakap ko sya.

"Huy, huy. I was just kidding. Of course, I haven't and I won't- not after anyone." But later I understood that she was just toying on me. I should know my wife.

"Ewan ko sayo," she said na medyo pabebe.

To tell you a little about long long ago, well, second year high school kami, she was our mathematician and an honor student – top 7. Ako naman ay isang mapagkumbabang aliping-sagigilid: normal na tao, that was how we called ourselves before. Hindi kami close; ni hindi ko nga maalala at mai-match apelyido nya sa mukha nya. Ay, classmate ko pala yan!? 

While we were a family of engineers, Ako... ay bobong bobo sa math.  Totoo. Kaya kahit ako hindi ko lubos maisip bakit section one ako. Pero praises be to the Lord when our third year came: I loved geometry, I loved it  so much. Hindi ko sinasadya pero ang galing ko boi. Kinig na kinig ako sa kay Ma'am Mirasol. Sa planes, lines, at points lang nagsimula at namulat ako na OK din pala ang Mathematics, somehow. I enjoyed  it enough to the point na nasali ako for the first time sa Math and Science Day na math quiz at ako ang nanalo with ONE MISTAKE! 24/25! Na bilang ako sa MTAP. Tatlo kami that represented the school:

First pick, ako. 

Second pick, si iniibig ko'ng Keren. Aw!

Third pick, ang Valedictorian namin, si Michaela.

We reviewed for the competition. Palagi dalawa lang kami available ni mahal ko'ng Keren gawa na umuuwi si Michaela sa hometown nila every weekend. Syempre, si Keren babae, hindi naman pwede na sya pupunta sa bahay namin. 

Ako pumupunta sa bahay nila. 

Mabait ang mama at papa nya: pinagtitimpla ako ng Milo at "sorry" daw kasi walang tinapay. Everytime, bibigyan din nila sana ako ng pamasahe pauwi. Family din sila ng mga engineers and her mother made their strictness towards her known to me. "Wag kayo muna sa love love na yan, ha? Ikaw Art, talunin mo muna si Michaela. Ikaw na ba first ngayon?"

"Hindi po, Tita. Talino 'nun eh," tawa ko. Pero that was our tacit goal. Motivation ba. Talunin si Valed!

We grew closer to each other. Doon kami nagsimula to text each other as friends, then as confidants, then teenagers na na mi-miss ang isa't-isa during weekends. Those were the days: high school, childish kahit papaano, pero I cannot be wrong that I felt attached to her that I wished #sanaArawAraw. Masaya ako na kasama sya.