Something Happens for A Reason

One

I don't know wether is it called God will or is it just a coincidence, when I come to reconsider about how things work in me.

It was my primary school in a small village where I lived.

Since the day I entered primary school, I was almost no friend....no one want to hang around me....but I tried to play with everyone....then day by day....those kiddos start to play and talk to me...but you know what was the reason? It was because I had a lot of candy and money and I was like willing to buy for anyone who play with me. Then, of course they play with me, talk to me saying good to me and a lot good things happen. And yeah of course I'm happy doing it (everyday). But guess what "where do I get money a lot everyday?" I stole it...from my mother.

I might be the different girl from the start, people like me or play with me just because I have things they don't have and they just took the advantage from me, I knew it, but still the loneliness is scarier than that stupid stuffs I did and I hate it....so I keep doing it almost full year in my grade one.

But then, I learnt something, the friends I thought it was friends, then no they don't. They gossiped me, saying bad things about me and some was unbelievable (that a friend would say).

But I didn't do anything instead of shaking like a drowning baby chicken.

I was just pretend that I didn't hear anything, pretend that my friends were still good to me without condition while I knew the truth.

And since the day I heard a gossip about me, whenever they say things that were reversely from what I had heard. Something keep saying in my head "Liar....liar" but I reversely didn't let any word out of my mouth but tried my best to say something with them.

And maybe I adapted to environment, I could learn to handle something by myself I could do it. But one thing I went hard is Learning. I was so slow in learning. My classmates laugh at me looked down on me, curse me, did to me like a pet. But what the stupidity was that "I was such a coward, I didn't dare to yell at anyone. What I did was just to keep my head look down to the ground." And I hated myself for that reasons so much. I always hope that one day those boys and girls will regret those words and action that did to me and swear to myself, like a real man and in a serious mood.

But coward is a coward " I go to school sit like a fool, let people played me for nothing, hit me like I was a doll. And i didn't dare to say a single word."

At home....

My mother and my grandfather, taught me a lot, and tried all there best but still I didn't learnt that easy. I'm the last one in the class. I guess that the reason I need to buy them food in order to make them play with me. Anyways, I was a slow learner but doesn't mean I was a mental retardation. I learnt and then I speed up very fast, for that fast learning is all thank to grandpa he taught me so well and I understand lessons very fast from then. I boost up from the bottom of the class to the first one of the class.

(But not good in math)

I learnt my language so fast I can count it, write it, read vastly from the bottom up, I read poem very well. At school I always get good score in every subjects, but still one subject is too stupid and I think I still can't make it out until now, guess what?

Not mathematic but painting, artist job...guess what score I got....Ta-Da....03pt :D

Well, this one doesn't effect to my whole grade because I got other subjects all very good even math that I thought it hards but always got score at least 7pt.

My score change, my grade change, my friends change, but boys doesn't change they still keep on bullied around me as I was the easiest target to play with.

Maybe it come to an end of the misery life of my first year of school. And from those bullied, from those bitterly friendship and almost could count as a fake or cheating friendship, I grew up from it, I learnt from it, it taught me something. Because I got number one in class that maybe the inspiration to me to push me out of the misery of bullying world of those stupid boys who always bullied only the weaker, the coward one.

Grade one finished, I successfully passed and go on to second grade....

I made a promise to myself that " I promise, for next year, if I study in the same class, and same classmates, same boys, Even IF they change the class, for this time, I swear to God, I will chase them and show them Raphley is not a coward girl that easy to handle anymore, I'll show you boys how strong I am and how bad you stupid boys will regret what you had done to me"

Somehow, it was like I got a mutation injection in the moment I said so (in my mind only, actually) but when I come to the reality I felt my heart beating fast and I knew it, I scared of what I said even it was just to myself, but it scare from the inside.

And then..............the year of battleship between a coward girl-used to maybe begin or keep doing the coward person maybe still had a possibility to happen even in a tiny little space of my heart.......