How can this work?

The end is near but first the goodbyes

I've been neglecting Jon and haven't done a POV for him in ages so here you go. Enjoy x

Jon

Ever since that night, the night everything went wrong, his life has been a mess and sheer agony. She left him there to torment himself over her words, she didn't want to be with him because she couldn't have children. It made no sense, not to him anyway. They are staring death in the face and have no guarantee of surviving this war and that witch was not right. She can't just want to just ignore him and push him away because she couldn't have children, there had to be something else there.

He thought so hard about the question burning into his brain that he made his own answers, he didn't even realize how outrageous they were. He just believed them because he was too caught up in his own sadness to think straight. "She used it as an excuse," he told himself as he sat watching the fire with an empty ale goblet in his hand, he clenched it hard everytime a surge of anger or sadness ran through him as if he was taking it out on the cup.

He brought the cup to his lips and was greeted with nothing, no biter dark liquid to wash down his sorrows nothing but the air around him. He looked at the cup and groaned, he stood in anger and threw the cup at the wall. The sound echoing through his empty chamber, it bounced on the floor and rolled till it was at his feet once more as if it wanted him to pick it up and refill it.

He rubbed his hand over his face trying to erase the dizziness and tiredness from his body. He bent down and picked up the cup not willing himself to deny what the universe ultimately wanted. He walked towards the table which held his own supply of ale and wines tho he never drank those. He filled his cup and took a large gulp of it to see how it taste even tho he knew how it tastes, he filled it again once satisfied and walked back over to his seat by the fire.

He groaned as he sat, his body feeling the full effects of the elixir in his hand, he felt tired and numb which was what he wanted. He didn't want to feel anymore he just wanted to be numb and never have to feel the sheer heartache that came from being aware and in control of his body so he let the ale take over.

He sighed and looked back into the fire, though his mind was far away back to were it always seems to go. "She used her barrenness to get rid of me and make me feel bad because she never loved me, she never wanted me. I'm not worthy and she used me like she did Daario." He told himself his voice bitter and angered, it was better than being sad about it.

"I was such a fool," He told himself, his eyebrows burrowing to stop the tears from falling. He didn't want to cry, he never wanted to cry over someone so conniving as she. He felt his body go rigid as he thought of her. He had been pining over her all this time trying to apologize for his foolishness and she wanted none of it. He was done with trying to win over someone who was not even willing to listen or love him as he loved her. He felt played.

There was a sharp knock at the door, he turned to it waiting for the person to enter. When they didn't he got up from his seat and stood over the table with the maps on it and shouted loud enough for the person outside the door to hear. "Come in!" He took another swig of his ale before he heard the person's footsteps in his chambers.

They didn't speak so he didn't, he was in no mood to begin a conversation. He turned to the person and realised who it was, he faces contorted to show his anger at her. He didn't know why she was here be he didn't want her here, he thought he made it perfectly clear in the council meeting that he beyond trying to get her to see.

"What is it I can do for you, Your Grace?" His voice came out more bitter then he anticipated but he wanted her to know he was angry at her and did not want her there. She shivered, he noticed, she did it before in the council meeting too. She stared at him for a while but he did not let it get to him, he didn't let it make him uncomfortable.