Conceal, Don't Feel {NCT Jisung - centric}

Trouble says HELLO!!

A whole week without Chenle really bored him out, there's no more endless chatter to listen to. Jisung trot over to his locker, and pluck out a few books. He's about to close the door when a hand shuts it first from his left. A male slightly taller than him, eyes him with a smirk. Jisung nearly jumped at the sudden impact, he thinks it's best he leaves because that guy had a look on that he doesn't like one bit.

"Oi freak! Where's your annoying sidekick?" the male taunt, Jisung feels anger bubbling at him for calling Chenle such thing. But Taeyong thought him better, ignore and walk on. But when he's suddenly being grabbed and pinned to the wall, Jisung snapped "What do you want?!"

By now, students around are crowding around them, and Jisung really hates how they're just watching. "You know I can't even get near to you two freaks cuz that brat is so annoying and loud. But now he's gone, I get to do this" Jisung widen his eyes and groans when he's kicked in the gut. "You know you're a such a weirdo right? It's really a sore to the eye seeing you two disgusting faggots always hanging around."

Jisung pushes him off, "Leave me alone!!" he shouts, "Why should I? Fags like you need to know what you deserve, nothing but shit! You think you're so great just because you dance?!? You're horrible at it you know?" He walks closer to Jisung and leans to whisper in Jisung's ear. Jisung tense up, his heartbeat is increasing rapidly.

His mind keeps flashing to what happened 4 years ago, a shadowy figure of a man closing up on him with an evil smile. His small 12-year-old self trembling at the sight.

"Look at you, without that stupid brat and those mysterious friends of yours that are probably your ...what was it again? Sugar daddies? Yeah, you're a slut aren't you? Getting fucked by different man every night for money? A fucking good for nothing disgusting slut"

"You're going to be such a good slut"

Jisung could feel a bile rising up his throat, his eyes threatening to spill tears and the very images of that day keeps appearing in his head. Once, very other student starts to scurry off, signaling a teacher is coming this way, the guy walked away as if nothing ever happened.

Jisung picks up his fallen books and falter from the scene. He makes it for the bathroom, and shut himself in a cubicle. Jisung takes a deep breath a few times, a few droplets of tears escape his eyes as he sobs into the palms on his hand with his back leaning hard on the wall.

In 1 2 3 out in 1 2 3 out in 1 2 3 out

His hyungs had helped him master the art of calming down panic attacks, but it's been so long, even after he stopped crying, he could feel his hands still shaking from the sudden memeory flashback. Jisung trace the wool pattern on his sweater, feeling each curved and just focusing on that, then he pulls up his sweater. There's a reddish patch on the spot he got kicked, Jisung girth his teeth and slumps down to the floor.

Normally Chenle will keep anyone who dares to bully them away with a simple 'I'll-scream-as-loud -and-high-as-I-can-till-someone-comes' and the bullies always thought it was a troublesome feat for them. But Jisung himself dealt with a fair share amount of bullies before, so it should never really be a problem for him but those words keep circling his mind.

He's not a slut and they most definitely aren't his sugar daddies or whatever, but it also made him see just how much his hyungs spend on him, spoiling him every chance they get, even Chenle! He knew why he was targeted, they already knew there's no way he's telling anyone about this. If it were Chenle, the boy, as stated would scream till a teacher is there on the spot.

But Jisung isn't like that, Jisung doesn't like dragging anyone into his problems, he doesn't want to be problematic. He won't go running and telling like how Chenle would, it's one on the things the hyungs are trying to teach him. But he couldn't bring himself to, he had dealt with this once, he should be able to do it, again right?

He drags himself back on his feet, and out of the cubicle. Truthfully, he's still shaken by the ordeal. He needs to get out of this stink. He quickly shuffles out of the bathroom, and to his classroom. The teacher didn't even bat an eye at him when he turns up in class, she never cared about anyone, or maybe she just doesn't care about him.

He sends a message to Dooyoung hyung, informing that he'll go home on his own for today. He's a mess, so let's not let anyone find out that he's a mess, the bully, Siwon, smirks at him. Jisung tries hard to not spare any of his attention but with shaking hands and wavering eyes even the teacher calls him out. "Jisung I'd like you to pay attention in class" she spouts, he's trying.

When the bell rings, he quickly scoops everything up and stuff it all into his bag, he races for the door and in a blink he's already on the road. Dooyoung is worried, the texts he got were full of concern but he has no mentality for that now, he just wants to go home and blast some music at full volume till he couldn't hear Siwon's words in his head anymore.

It's only been one week and problems are only starting to arise, 'I'll be fine, it's totally fine' he chants and dive his hands into the pocket of his jeans for the keys. His parents aren't home just yet, kicking off his shoes, he runs upstairs and lock himself in. Jisung throws his backpack on his orange covers and slump down next to it, burying himself in the softness of his pillow.

"Alexa play Fire by BTS" he mumbled loud enough for the machine to hear, he needs something loud and crazy. Maybe he could stress-dance, Jisung has always been told that he's a good dancer, the school always include him in performance lineup in any events that were held. He believes that too, his hyungs always cheered him on for this passion.

Body moving smoothly and energetic to the music, but today no matter how hard he pants he couldn't be satisfied. Everything looks wrong and off, "you're horrible at it you know " that very sentence is still swimming in his mind. "Get a grip Jisung" he muttered to himself as he collapses once more onto his bed. It was only a few sentences, a few kick slams and kick and one encounter to shatter his very being.

"You can do this, you have to"