It's A Love-Hate Thing (poetry)

Poem Four

My chest hurts with a throbbing pain,
My head pounding like a beat of a drum.
My hot cheeks now tear stained,
My ears hearing a loud hum.
Will it ever go away?
Will it ever vanish into pure nothingness?
No, it always stays.
It's a vicious numbness.
Sitting on the cold floor against the wall,
I stare out the window to watch the trees sway.
Freshly green and enormously tall,
I find ease watching them dance in a special way.
Choking on my aching sobs,
I call for the comfort.
It comes to me in a mob,
Of ease with no hurt.
Anxiety my greatest enemy,
Attacked me effortlessly.
It threw me in front of a semi,
Unexpectedly and relentlessly.
It was like I was watching a sunset,
And then the sky turned a devilish grey.
It was a sorrowful hurricane I wanted to reset,
I wanted for it to be gone and not stay.
Hurt and pain is a familiar friend of mine,
But I'm just better at hiding it.
It was an occasion served with wine,
An event where sadness hit.
It is when I hurt with an overwhelming sadness,
That's when my best words spill on a page.
It helps me release all my madness,
Writing poem after poem to get rid of rage.
In the end result of all the coping,
It's like a long awaited answer.
It helps stop all the moping,
When the words swirl on the page like a graceful dancer.
This is my sanctuary and my belonging,
To write on a single sheet to create stories.

—It started off awry//Shanielle Fiddler
Nov 28, 2018