Life seems to be worth living, I love this guy. Since I have never loved anyone else, surely. We dressed and made up, and we sit down on the floor. Twiggy takes a vinyl from The Cure and installs it on the turntable. It could put CDs, but the sound of a vinyl has something special, like sizzling under the needle and producing a more authentic and singular melody. The song Boys don't cry starts and he lowers the volume so that it is only a background sound. Twiggy is leaning against his bed and I am sitting cross-legged in front of him. I break the silence :
- << Why did you leave your old establishment ?
- It's a little complicated. Towards the end of the year, - he began, it was years since guys from my high school and college (it was a school set) harassed me... It started with teasing about the fact that I look like a girl, then go off in insults, then blows, more and more violent. Until the day one of them started to beat me up, I was weak and I fell on the floor, I had no way to defend myself. It was at the end of classes, then everyone has started. I went home with fucking bruises all over my body, bruises, and two broken ribs. My mother took me to the hospital. I stayed there for two weeks. Then I ended up falling into drugs and alcohol on my return. Until the day the college realized it. I was fired while there were only three weeks of classes I spent alone at home to get high. Here. >>
I realize he's crying, my eyes are red. I hug him, he must feel safe. Boys do not cry... said Robert from the vinyl.
xxx
💚 ( Twiggy's POV ) 💚
- << And you ? I ask.
- ... I... Shit. - he turns his head, I know he's crying.-
- Tell me. You had friends?
- I have never had alot of friends. >>
I take him in my arms even harder. He lies down on the ground, I lie down on him in his embrace.
- << A small line ? - i say with a little smile-
( he smiles )
- Pass me the bottle of Vodka instead.
( - I give it to him, he drinks it dry, but he is still not drunk. I know it will be easier if he speaks a little drunk. He grabs the piece of rolled paper and sniffs a straight line drawn beforehand. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, then opened them again slowly. I take a look at the alarm clock, it is almost midnight. I have not seen the time pass, like vampires, we will stay awake all night. ) Brian begins :
- I've always been a special child. I was disturbed. I wasn't interested in the activities of other kids of my age and I was constantly in the moon. (-he stares at the ground, the white light of the moon dimly illuminates the darkness of my room through the blind, the vinyl does not turn for a long time, I'll put it back later.-) I was always the weird guy, the lost one who should not be seen. I didn't have any friends. Other kids can be so cruels you know...
- I understand very well... -I say.-
- I know, I felt it from the beginning. You are not someone like everyone else. You are different.>>
I turn my head towards the window, this white light filtered by the blind gives a sleeping aspect to the world, as if the night belonged to us. I feel tears rising in me, how many nights of insomnia have I been able to spend the night contemplating, this low lunar light coming to make my tears sparkle? How many times did I get up in the morning, wanting to fall asleep forever ? A tear rolls on my cheek, I wipe it with my hand.
- << You know, I never really knew what it feels like to be loved - I say.-
- Everyone wants to be loved, but some people deserve more than others. You have the right to be happy and live. More than a pack of people... But I love you, and I know that I will never forget the feeling I had when we kissed for the first time. -he said, taking my hands.-
- It's beautiful what you say.
- You too are beautiful, baby. >>
I come to snuggle in his arms, he kisses my head. He carries me to my bed and after ten minutes of hugs, I fall asleep in his embrace, the faint light of the moon reflected on our souls that broke the coldness of loneliness.
xxx
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