Francine & Margot ✓

7

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Francine,

   The music was all I had to remember you by.

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Before I saw your bones, buried in the ashes of your home, I never cared to play a single song. Piano was some pretentious, distant thing, made holy only by your presence. You know how much I'd always hated music - the most I could stand was to enjoy a fun dance.

But after you were gone, I took it in remembrance of you.

I started without knowing the name of a single note. Al watched me grow consumed by it the more I played. He bought books so that I could practice. With every proper note I captured a feeling that was close to you again.

We moved to America, and having no one else, kept our marriage intact. We did discuss getting a divorce and going our separate ways, but after everything we'd been through it seemed impossible. It was the two of us against the world.

Al quickly found a job at a local bank. We bought a lovely home, and filled the living space with a grand piano a lover gifted to him. I practiced day and night. At first he would grow irritated with me and tell me to shut up. After I told him that you used to play for me, that the music was one of the only things I had left of you, he apologized and never questioned it again. After that, he bought me new piano books as often as he could.

Some nights I would wake up in bed and be unable to contain how much I missed you, even though it was years ago and we were so young. I'd leap up, practically in a fit, and play as though it was the only thing that would stop me from drowning. Sometimes I think I perfectly captured the song you wrote for me before our first true kiss, just out of the sheer strength of my memory.

At first, the neighbors complained. Then Al told them that I lost a dearest friend to the war overseas and it was my only way to remember, and they came to appreciate it. After the war, people seemed to have a new respect for grief and heartbreak.

Soon, more people listened.

Al worked a good job so I could practice in the day. Sometimes, when my music left him unable to sleep, he left with other men for the night so that I could be with you.

I learned to read music, and I played better every day. People wanted me to perform, and I obliged. Within months every single evening of mine was spent at a local club, where people clapped for me and praised me. I never wanted the attention - I only wanted you - but I decided that perhaps making my music to you famous was the best way to honor you.

As my popularity around the area grew, so did the formality of the occasions I'd play for. I even made it in the papers.

To every concert, no matter how formal, the only jewelry I ever wore was a wedding band and a gold chain around my neck.

Yours,
Margot

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