The Magician

Chapter V

Julian stared into his lap for an uncomfortably long while. I sat beside him in awkward silence, every passing second adding to the growing feeling of dread. I nudged him gently with my elbow, internally willing him to say something, anything, to ease the pain of not knowing what he was thinking. 

"Julian?" I urged softly. 

He looked up, but still didn't meet my gaze. He took a breath, and finally broke the awful silence.

"My darling, you know I care deeply for you..." He looked down again, continuing to fiddle absently with a button that seemed to be coming loose. 

"Well, yes. You're wonderful to me." I replied, trying to bolster his confidence with compliments. 

"So please don't think terribly of me...it isn't to do with you..."

"Julian, please just tell me. Whatever it is, please just get on with it. I can't bear this!" 

"My love, I can't see you anymore. I just...we can't be together." He said this all rather quickly, and then turned his head to face away from me. 

"What? Why not?" I asked, feeling that choking sensation constricting my throat. 

"Because I...you...we just...we just can't. It's a...a matter of personal history." 

"Can't you at least tell me what it is?" I pleaded. I felt hot tears forming, and fought to prevent them spilling over and driving telltale tracks down my cheeks. 

"It's very personal, and doesn't only involve me. I'm not sure the other person would want me to tell you that." 

I stood up, frustrated. 

"Fine. If you ever want to tell me, you know where to find me. Until then, I should have known! I don't want to hear from you unless it's an explanation!" I was shouting at this point, and had apparently abandoned any effort to avoid crying, as tears were flowing freely now. I turned on my heel, and hurried away, leaving Julian sat alone on the sand. 

I half ran all the way back to the shop, muttering to myself how I should have known not to trust him. I should have known he wasn't good for me. I should have trusted my instinct, and not given him the time of day after he seemingly broke into the shop. Then it clicked. Perhaps there was more to this than I was seeing. When he broke in that night, he said he was looking for the magician. Maybe...maybe he and Asra had some more history than either of them let on. Still, even if that was the case, especially if that was the case, Julian had led me on, and I was so...everything. Confused, furious, heartbroken. I had reached the shop by now, and went inside, letting the door bang behind me. 

In my current state, trapped in the hurricane of my own mind, I barely noticed Asra leaning casually against the counter. 

"Back so soon?" His voice surprised me. 

"I...could ask you the same thing?" Although my vision was still blurred with tears, I could see he looked concerned. 

"I felt like you needed me." He said, as explanation. "What's happened?" 

I broke down again, and took only a couple of steps forward before practically collapsing into his arms. 

"It...all...went...wrong." I sobbed into his chest. 

He held me tightly, and half carried me to the back room. We sat there, me curled into him, and him holding me gently but firmly, for who knows how long, but the next time I looked up from the now damp folds of his shirt, it was dark outside.