Her Freedom Gone, Herself Lost

2. -Her Freedom Gone, Herself Lost-

Recap:

* A minute later I find myself running into the kitchen. 'Dad!!! What are you doing? Put it down! PLEASE.' I start crying even more.

All of a sudden, I hear the busting open of a door and loud footsteps nearing the kitchen. . . *

. . .

They kick open the door with guns galore. 'Put it down or else' the one cop says to my father.

'Or else, what? You're gonna fucking shoot me? Whatever. Like I care. I don't wanna live anyways'.

I swear right then and there, my heart broke into a thousand pieces.

How in the hell did I not know that my own father wanted to. . . Die?

Well. It's not like we talk that much these days. We had such a good relationship years ago. . .

But it was obliterated when I came out three years ago.

He grew up in a devout Christian household, where he was taught that any form of homosexuality is wrong in God's eyes.

He points the gun towards the right side of his head, and starts to pull the trigger.

The cops are still tightly gripping onto their guns.

'Dad, don't!' I scream out, still crying. I run out to him, attempting to knock the fired up gun out of his trembling hand.

A shot fires out from a gun.

I look to the cops, thinking that one of them tried taking a shot at my father.

Nope. . .

It was my dad who pulled that damned trigger.

I break into what seems like a million tears. I thought his biggest obstacle was mom and her bottles.

Turns out his biggest obstacle was himself.

And I feel like it is all my fault.
That I let him down.

I feel like I'm constantly trying to be the perfect, straight daughter that they want me to be.

And having no friends, isolating yourself into your room seems eternal.

Having your parents not accept their own child for who they are is like a fly diving into your cup of water, knowing it will drown; it doesn't make sense.

With loneliness and death in the very depths of my mind, nothing seems possible.

You might think I'm overreacting, but you're not me. You don't know who I am, or how I'm barely getting through life.

You don't know how it feels.

-
-
-
-

A/N: Hi! This happens to be the second chapter of 'Her Freedom Gone, Herself Lost'!
I hope you're enjoying the story so far. And I'm sorry if the chapters have been short, I try to make them as long as I can. xd ♥ I plan on making this into a short story, with only a few (in depth) chapters. Thank you! <3 Remember to read, vote, comment, etc. And I hope you have a wonderful and spectacular day/night wherever you are reading this from, and know that you can get through whatever. ☺ xxxx

~Haley