One time I was in church and there was this sermon about how everything happens for a reason, and everything is part of god’s plan. I was the kind of person that liked to speak my mind, so I stood up. Everyone’s heads turned in that sort of “what the hell are you during, sit the fuck down, we’ll just stare at you judgingly until you sit down and let the priest go on, you immature little twat” kind of intimidation. But I don’t get intimidated too easily. So I flashed a smile at the people and started speaking my mind.
“I call bull-shit.” I said so confidently that even the priest was impressed and there was a half-second where he kind of admired me.
The whole room fell silent. People looked to each other just making sure they hadn’t imagined that whole thing. The air fan just kept getting louder and louder as I waited for a response from the annoyed priest. My mom tugged at my shirt, gesturing for me to sit down. I knew I’d get in trouble later, but I didn’t care at all.
“Declan…if there’s something you’d like to say, please say it when the sermon is over and we have our time for comments and confessions. Thank you.” The short little priest’s lips pursed as he did a sigh through his nose and a slight eye roll. He then flashed a fake smile and kept going on with the sermon, until I decided that I wasn’t quite finished with what I had to say.
“God doesn’t have a plan for any of us.”
“Declan...” My mom muttered angrily.
“God doesn’t have time for any one expect himself.
“Declan, please take a seat.” The priest said getting angrier while still managing to keep his cool.
“Think about it…if there are six or seven billion people in this world, god doesn’t have time to focus on every single one of them. I mean, people die everyday who aren’t ready to die, he put things in this world just to tempt the human race. Drugs, alcohol, sex. God put those things on Earth purposefully, so that we could do wrong.”
“Declan, do we need to have someone escort you out?” The priest said under his breath.
“That is…if god even exists. Scientifically, god is a theory made by a bunch of lonely douchebags that need something to believe in. They need some hope to keep them going. So they praise god, Jesus, and the bible hoping it will lead them to heaven. Honestly, when you die…you just fucking die.” I would later learn that I was wrong…very wrong. “It’s not rocket science. You’re just gone when you die. You don’t go to heaven for being good yet judgmental, bigoted Christians. You don’t go to hell for being gay, or having sex before marriage, or god forbid, being a religion other than Christian. I swear, if anyone where to go to hell, it would be all of you guys. Because you guys follow a book with the fucking craziest morals…ever. So have fun praying to god, I’m going to go actually live life, like you’re actually supposed to do.”
Someone then had to escort me outside. Totally fucking worth it.
