In This Lifetime...

Chapter 12: Advice

(Later that day still at the cliff)

Stas: *opens her eyes still laying her head on Zac* (to herself) The fact that we never went home.. What will everyone think..?

Zac: *wakes up realizing Stas and him stayed out all night and fell asleep there* (to himself) I thought she would leave by now.. And who allowed her to lay on me anyways.. Well shit. Now this is too cute for me to mess up. What do I do. I'll just I'll just.. *closes his eyes as soon as he feels Stas sitting up*

Stas: *looks at Zac laughing* Nice try. *stands up and pulls him up off the ground*

Zac: I was having such a good dream..! *laughs*

Stas: Oh the one about the two hopeless teens who stayed out past 3 am just talking about irrelevant things and watching the stars and falling asleep?

Zac: *steps back like he's scared* how'd how'd how'd.. How'd you know..?

Stas: *steps forward in front of him* Because same. *laughs*

Zac: Oh oh I see that makes se- what time is it?

Stas: *feels her pockets for her phone and realizes she left it in the car* I don't know I don't have my phone.. *goes to the car and gets her phone* it's 11:38 am, why? *reads all of the threatening messages from her boyfriend and closes her phone*

Zac: Oh man! I missed church today! *pulls out his phone to see 38 calls from his mom and 43 from his brother* Oh man.. They also called me... 81 times. Excuse me.. *laughs and calls his mom back*

Stas: *dusts her clothes off and goes to sit on the edge waiting for Zac* What am I doing to myself.. I know how much I love him.. I know how much I need him..and want him... And.... I deserve that. I don't deserve this shit I'm getting now..Zac even said so.. I ju-

Zac: *hangs up and walks up behind Stas and finishes her sentence* Zac said that you should do what makes you happy so that you will never be disappointed. That's what Zac said. *helps her up* We should probably get back to general population now. I hear the helicopters swarming already.

Stas: *laughs and gets in the car* So that's it? I should do what makes me happy?

Zac: *gets in the driver's seat and takes off back down the hill* Yeah you should. You should be happy because that makes me happy. And lately I haven't been so happy because I know you're not happy. *looks over at Stas*

Stas: *looks at Zac* But what if I am happy? With everything?

Zac: Well.. *sighs in disappointment and looks forward again* If you're happy I guess that's all you need to keep up.

Stas: *keeps looking at him studying his expression* I just.. I don't know. I don't. I'm clueless I'm lost I just I can't deal with much right now and I'm just so lost and hopeless right now. I figured you'd understand *looks out her window*

Zac: *looks at her and back forward again* No.. You're not. You know what you want. You're lying to yourself Stas, every little bit of it. You know how much you don't deserve what this idiot does to you. So why do you keep going back? What makes him so special that attaches you to him? Please tell me because I'd really like to know what's so special with this guy.

Stas: *sighs* I don't know what I want Zac. You don't know how I feel. You probably would never understand the thing I'm feeling. But hey it's okay because soon enough I'll be single anyways. Just remember how good of friends we are now. Nothing is special about him. I've been with him since October what can I say? Longer relationships keep me motivated.

Zac: *tries to get "good of friends" out of his head* Long term relationships are great. I agree. But guess what? Come to reality princess. Nobody is gonna be together forever. No one is gonna be Mr. Perfect. No one will love you the way... *pauses himself from saying anymore* Stas... I need to tell you something...

Stas: I know that.. But I'll always have hope for him one day. I'll find him one day. Of course Zac, what's up?

Zac: *slows the car down and comes to a stop still looking straight forward* Stas. I'm in love with you. I don't know how else to put it. You can love him all you want. You can lie to yourself about how much you deserve all of the things you're getting, but guess what? You don't deserve that. All of this advice I'm trying to give to you is me trying to lead you towards leaving him for me. How can you sit here and act like I mean nothing but a good friend to you? I know you have some feelings for me. There can't be absolutely nothing going on In that heart or mind of yours. You may think you love him. But your heart has been saying that you love me all a long. You know it. I know it. Telana knows it. So you can do and choose whatever you want... Just know that I won't give up. I'll wait until the day he dies if I have to just to be with you. You make me complete. You make me happier than anyone. You're so different from the rest and you're so beautiful. You deserve someone and that someone deserves to be me.

Stas: *looks over at Zac who is already looking at her* Zac..please don't wait. I know you love me, and I love you too. But I don't want us dating to ruin such a strong friendship.. We've come so far. We can't let a relationship ruin that for us... I do deserve all of this. I caused it so I'll take it. You have to understand that. I'm not perfect. I'm not close to it and I never will be. I'm too good of person to just let him go like it's nothing.. Plus I've got a lot of things you don't know about me... And I just.. I need you to accept that. Please accept that we will always be friends.. *grabs Zac's hand and holds it* Please. For me. For u...our friendship.. You have to accept it...

Zac: *looks away while holding Stas's hand* I can't.. *drives back onto the road and up the road* I can't accept that we'll always be friends. Friends don't stay up until 3 am texting or on the phone. Friends don't go out at night and come back at noon the next day. Friends don't keep secrets about them falling in love and not letting everyone else know *pulls his hand away from Stas and puts it on the steering wheel* Friends don't see each other everyday. You know what friends do? Friends see each other occasionally. Friends hang out if they don't have practice for sports on the weekends. Friends do homework together. Friends have one or two sleep overs per month. Not every night. Friends don't cuddle and love each other like they've been together 25 years. If you wanna stay friends Stas, then fine.

Stas: *bites her tongue from saying anything and attempts not to make a noise while looking out here window*

Zac: *mentally regrets everything he just said* I'm sorry Stas... *grabs her hand again and holds it tightly* We're gonna be the best of friends and if that's what it needs to be, that's what it needs to be. I'll wait for you to come around but until then, I'm not going anywhere. I'm here to stay forever. I promise you that.

Stas: *wipes her eyes with her other hand while holding Zac's* don't be sorry... This is my fault. Had I told you before hand we wouldn't be in this situation...

Zac: Yes we would.. *smiles a little*

Stas: Why is that? *looks at Zac again*

Zac: You're kind of irresistible... Your smile is a drug. Your personality is addictive too. People tend to get tired of looking at the same people every day if their lives..but you, I could look at you until the day my heart stops beating and only love you more each day.

Stas: I can say the same about you. The way you talk, smile, act.. The way you look at me just gets me. Your personality kills me. I can't help but think of you as anything but perfect... Hey, can we go to your house? I need to talk to your mom..

Zac: *turns down the road towards his house* We can do anything you want to beautiful. *laughs* She's kind of obnoxious sorry in advance.

Stas: *laughs* Great. I just have to figure something out.