Negative Thoughts

The Voices

8 years later

Iris's P.O.V
*Dream*
As I sat silently in the darkness I soon began to see a bright light emitting from a small crack in the wall, I got up from my sitting position and walked up to the crack, 'Just enough space for me to get through'. As I squeezed my body through the crack I noticed I had ended up at my old home, 'Why did I end up here?'. As I walked aimlessly around my home, I found myself walking up to my old room, but as I went to reach for the handle the door began to crumble within my grasp, 'What the...?'.

I scanned my room, looking at everything with a small smile on my face, my walls were painted a pale green with light blue, pink and purple flowers scattered across it, I had a wooden floor with a fluffy pink rug sitting in the centre of my room, at the top left of my room was my bed, covered with a lilac coloured blanket and white pillow, at the top right was a wooden rocking chair with a light blue cushion and next to it was a shelf filled with all my favourite books, which my parents would read to me before bed. In the bottom right of my room was a double door wardrobe, which was filled with all of my old clothes, and in the bottom left was a pile of old toys, consisting of plush toys, hand sewn dolls
made by my nanny, and hand made wooden dolls made by my dad.

But there was one sewn doll that stood out among the rest, I carefully picked it up, examining it's looks, tan skin, brown hair, white dress, green eyes. This doll, this was the gift my nanny gave me for my birthday. She made this for me so that I would be protected from the voices in my head and the nightmares.

*Flashback*

It was my fifth birthday, and my nanny had just finished making me her present for me, a doll that looked just like me, and when it was given to me I hugged it like there was no tomorrow, "thank you nanny! This is the best present ever!" I had the biggest smile on my face as I hugged my nanny as a thanks, "Thank you my dear, I hope you love it just as much as I love you".

"Of course I love it! And I love you too nanny". This was the happiest day of my life.

*End of flashback*

This doll meant the world to me, I promised her that I would keep it safe, like she had done for me. And I broke that promise. "I-I'm s-sorry nan-nanny, I'm s-so sorry, I-I failed y-you" tears streamed down my face, my whole body began to shake, I sat down and wrapped my arms around my knees as I sobbed quietly.

"Oh stop being such a crybaby and grow up already". I know that voice. "A-aria? What are *sniff* what are y-you doing here?".

"Isn't it obvious? I'm here to torment ya, its kinda my job".

"Does it have to be now? I just want to be left alone" I hid my head in my knees, more tears starting to fall. "Come on! I know a game that will lighten up your mood, you just gotta give me control" Aria appeared before me in her 'shadow form' (she looks like the pic above). I looked into her crimson eyes, my eyes showing nothing but anger, "No!  I'm not falling for your sorry excuse of a 'game', now why don't you do me a favour and leave!".

"Ugh, you're no fun, but fine, I'll leave to sulk in the darkness" Aria retreated back into my mind leaving me alone in my room. After a few minutes of laying down on my bed I got up and looked at myself in the mirror, my eyes were still red from crying and my checks were pink and stained with tears, and I had bags under my eyes from lack of sleep. I held my head in my hands, groaning in annoyance.

"These stupid nightmares are getting to me, and those bloody pills aren't helping either! Dumb facility, they think they know everything about me and how to help, but they don't know anything". I looked back up to the mirror to see yet another one of the voices in their shadow form, "You're right, they can't do anything to help you, but I can". A voice echoed through my ears sending chills down my spine, but their voice sounded familiar, "Krisí? Is that you?" I tilted my head in confusion, why would she be here? Usually Onyx is here after Aria, wait...did something happen to her? Oh god what if something went wrong! Onyx was the only one of the voices that I actually cared about, she may be the voice of suicide but at least she's nicer and she doesn't bother me as much as the other two. She knows when I need my space, so she leaves me alone when I need it, she understands my pain, we both know what each other are going through, we both know what the others are capable of.

"Krisí what do you want, I'm not in the mood for your games either".

"What, I just wanted to come and visit you, is that to much to ask for?".

"Yes it is, now stop lying and tell the truth" I was beginning to grow tired of dealing with her, I know she hasn't been here for very long but I was already annoyed by her presence alone, even if it was just her voice I wouldn't want to deal with it. "I want to make a deal with you" oh god, not this again, "Fine, what's your deal?".

"My deal is if you give me control I'll-"

"No".

"What? But you didn't even let me finish" I raised an eyebrow and looked at her, "Do you really think I'll let you, you out of the others, take control over me? You can't be serious" A small laugh escaped my lips, "I may have fallen for it the first time but I learn from my mistakes, I am never letting you take control again, understand?" I felt her smoke wrap around my neck but my stare didn't falter, "*sigh*Fine, I'll leave you alone".

Wow, I'm surprised she actually left, usually she stays until the end of the dream, which is weird, and something else I noticed is both Aria and Krisí aren't appearing as much, and Onyx isn't showing up at all, this isn't normal, something must be wrong.

I still have no idea what I'm doing ;-;