Don't Disappoint Me

Herrowh!

It's been a really, really, reeeeeally long time since I last posted anything on here. So I thought I'd start with a small preview. I doubt anyone that used to follow me is still here - or interested in reading my stuff - but if you are, give me a shout in the comments. You can find out for yourself if I'm as bad at catching up as I am at posting stories. 

If you're a new follower, I'd enjoy hearing from you just as much. So don't feel left out or anything ;-). Tell me how you came across this story. Or what on earth made you decide to check it out. It'll be interesting, for me any way. Heh heh. 

As for my writing style, I remember being able to tell a story fairly well. Not sure if I still have it but I'll let you be the judge of that. Before we start, I would just like to give you a heads up. Whilst I don't think this story is explicit/graphic enough to be classed as mature, I think it may have some mature themes such as suicide, abuse, violence. I don't want to accidentally trigger anyone with anything I've written. All that aside, I hope you enjoy ...

- Sakinah (formerly known as S)

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A smile shaped his mouth into a crooked circle. "I'm not okay with it either."

"Then you – should understand, more than anyone." She refused to meet his stare, pretending not to notice the way he was tilting his head to keep their eyes connected.

"Is that why you've been stalking me?" His brows rose higher, half hidden by a stray tuft of hair that had fallen forward. "Because you thought I'd understand you?"

I can't think of anyone who would probably understand me less in the whole world.

"I know I was wrong. We – We're too different." She held the night shirt and pyjama bottoms out to him. His eyes – wide, all absorbing – flickered from his clothes and then back to her face. "Look at us. You're beautiful. I could pass off as the human equivalent of a mongrel. You're good with – good at hanging around with people. I suck at it in a hundred different languages."

"Hey, I don't know where you're going with this –" Another laugh, this one slightly uneasy, bordering on brittle.

"You have the ability to go places in life while I –" She cleared her throat, struggling to keep her barbed words from hitting too close to home. "– I'm stuck here, my time wasted on someone who barely even knew I was there. Pathetic. How can a person be any more pathetic?"

"They could be dead," he suggested earnestly and the urge to smile nearly broke her.

"True." She shrugged again, exaggerating the movement as best as she could. "Maybe I am better off dead."

"I told you, didn't I?" He pointed a warning finger at her. "Not in my home."

"You can't keep me here forever. Everyone dies." She looked at him sharply, taking a step in his direction. Inwardly shrieking when he shifted back a pace. "So why are we drawing it out? You're going to kill me eventually, aren't you? Why wait?"

"Are you asking me to kill you?" The angle of his body changed so that he was facing her squarely.

"Would you?" Another step. She dropped his clothes into a pile on the floor, watching the way his eyes followed their descent, the way one side of his face momentarily curled into a ghostly snarl. "If I was?"

"Nope." He stopped before his back hit the door, barely refraining from glancing towards it. "I told you, as long as you want to die, you're not going to be killed by me."

"Oh, is that what you're planning then?" She stepped over the clothes, looking him up and down openly enough to make her own cheeks burn despite her efforts to remain composed.

"What?" he demanded, apprehension lifting his shoulders.

"You're going to keep me here– with you – until I'm glad to be alive – until I'm happy." She let all the betrayal that she hadn't realised she was feeling wash through her expressions, her body language. "And that's when it's game over. Because then you'll get bored of me and –"

She mimed slitting her own neck, the action awkward around her hands. Crap, if I'm actually right about this, I'm screwed.

"So what if I do?" He raised his chin, looking down his nose at her, all signs of amusement wiped away. "You want to die any way, don't you? I'd just be giving you what you want."

"Only when I don't want it anymore," she shot back, her insides vibrating as she stepped forward, uncomfortably close a thousand times over.

Stay strong. If I can't handle this, then it won't be too long before he breaks down too. I just have to out last him. She tried not to grit her teeth. We might be complete opposites but – to stab someone like that –you've got to be angry about something. Not just in the explosive way. And I know anger, I understand it, if nothing else.

"You're the one who has a problem with that, remember? Not me."

"You can't make me happy."Holding his gaze burned as much as keeping a baking tray straight out of the oven in her hands. "Does that mean you'll never kill me?"

"You kept pictures of me, Vix." He smiled dryly, mirthlessly. "If those alone could keep you this dedicated – make you this passionate about keeping me'safe' – then what do you think living with me is going to do to you?"

"Maybe you're over estimating your – yourself." She tried to breathe in deeply without him noticing and immediately regretted it, his scent fresh in her nostrils. I'm so sorry, Tiro. So sorry to do this. "Maybe all you'll do is disappoint me."

He tried to keep his face straight but his stare wavered and he fingered weapon-shaped lump along the side of his trousers with a sudden urgency that she was sure he hadn't noticed. She was so busy keeping an eye on that hand that she didn't anticipate the speed of his other one as it shot out, catching her by the collar and pulling her face close to his.

 "Make sure you tell me if I do disappoint you," he whispered darkly, looking down at her lips and then slowly back up into her eyes. "I'm not as familiar with the feeling as you are."

To be continued (or - at least - the story will begin properly) next week ...

See you then and thanks for reading!