Broken Till Dawn

3: You Hurt Me

***WARNING!!! POSSIBLY TRIGGERING SCENE AHEAD! *** THE STARS (<)WILL BE IN BOLD AND WILL SIGNIFY WHEN IT BEGINS AND ENDS. HOWEVER, IT IS VERY IMPORTANT PRIOR TO THE STORY. YOU MAY NOT UNDERSTAND SOME PARTS, BUT PLEASE DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO. THANK YOU!***

I woke up feeling slightly dazed and saw a person next to me. I freaked out and then realized who it was. "Umm Shawn?" I smiled when he stayed asleep. I tried to escape his grasp and when I got up he pulled my to his chest by my wrist. "SHAWN!!" I yelled, trying not to cringe.

"Stay with me you're like a frikin pillow."

"Shawn I'm goin to get dressed." I ran out of bed and got ready. When I came back Shawn was already gone into his room. I sat on my desk, and slightly smiled. Just a bit. I was a little happy. Finally someone made me happy. I knew we would have a wonderful friendship. I didn't mention my birthday though, I kinda wanna forget today, I'm not in the "celebrating" mood, which really sucks.

***

In fact, today was kinda an anniversary. My cutting anniversary. It's only my second birthday without them, and on this day, one year ago, I began cutting. I couldn't take it. So I did something, something I will never forget. I cut and cut. It soothed me, made me feel happy. It was almost a year since I lost everything, and then I noticed something talking. Strange, I know, but some voices in the back of my head kept saying, "Do it. You'll feel better." "You need a razor." "You don't need help. You need relief." Eventually I gave into those voices and did it. I cut, and deeply scarred myself. However, it showed how I felt on the inside. No one knew, I'm not an idiot, I can keep a secret to myself. But when Shawn grabbed my wrist, it hurt. A lot. Honestly, I tried to get used to it, but I had fresh cuts. Right where he grabbed me. Which is why I tried not to cringe when the pain shot through my arm. I couldn't cringe, or show any signs of the pain. It is my secret.

***

I had 2 secrets my whole life. One was this. The second one was about my only best friend, Noah.  Oh, I loved him. His forest green eyes, and smooth chestnut hair. He was my best friend. He hates me now. But he hurt me most. He found out. I remember it like it was yesterday.

**Flashback** (3rd person) ;)

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY LA-" Suddenly he stopped, his eyes glassy as he witnessed the scene before him. He tried to feel something, something telling him to comfort the fragile girl in front of him. She was like glass, already cracked, anything could break her. His eyesight got blurrier and blurrier as he tried to see her.

She stared at him, trying not to break down. Suddenly she realized what he was looking at. Her eyes widened in realization, the razor in one hand, scars gushing blood in the other. "I-It's not what i-it looks like" she said, trying to find an explanation.

"W-why-y Lala?"He used her nickname, in hope it would remind her of something, although he was unsure of what it was. He thought it would make things better. He thought he could help her.

She stood there thinking about his question. Or more importantly, the "Lala" at the end. She stood in utter shock, because it hurt her more. It left another crack in her, another scar, but instead of on her arm, it left this in her heart. She really doesn't understand. "B-because I did it." Her voice was barely a whisper.

But he heard her. He pulled her into an embrace, scared to let go. Tears and blood soaked his shirt, yet he didn't care, he wanted to be there for her. "W-why didn't y-y-you t-tell..?" He trailed off, scared to finish.

"I-I j-just didn't want to involve you. Because no one cares." 

"I care. Don't you trust me?"