Not So Geeky Now

My "Transformation"

I guess some people call it a "glow up"?

Sure. Let's call it that.

I'm not really sure how to describe it. I had always been pretty chubby. I didn't mind it. The more blubber I had, the warmer it was. My eyesight was terrible. My teeth were crooked but cute. At least to me. But I loved myself.

Then the summer after 10th-grade year was terrible. My family and I were driving to this theme park in Philly called Dorney Park when this truck came out of nowhere and T-boned us. 

My sister died.

My parents died.

I survived.

Why that is? I haven't the slightest.

I got put into foster care. Again. I used to be in it until I was 7 years old. But that's another story. None of my fucked up family members wanted me. But who cares? I can take care of myself. I'm almost 17. I don't need anyone. 

I shared a room with 3 other kids. I had to sleep on the top bunk of a twin sized bed. The dad of the house was a drunken man who spent all of his money alcohol and gave us enough food to keep us alive. That didn't really matter to me though because I gave up on eating. I got skinny. I found myself a job at Chick-Fil-A and got myself contacts because a 12-year-old at the house broke my glasses. On purpose. She said it was an accident. But I know it wasn't. Little shit. It's because I'm black. Now she's a racist little shit. Anyway, my braces were basically falling out of mouth so I got enough money to go to the dentist and do something about that. Good thing I automatically get insurance!! The dentist said it was about time to take them off, so my teeth were better. 

The outside of me was great now! At least to societies standard. 

The inside of me was broken. To my standard. 

But school is about to start and I can't let those fuckers know the broken side of me. Imma just put on that stupid fake smile and nod politely. The only thing worse than being vulnerable is having others take advantage of your vulnerability.

And you can miss me with that shit.