{Chasing Cars} ~ {Frerard}

Chasing Cars~Ch1

"If I lay here, if I just lay here" - Chasing Cars; Snow Patrol

~The building was quiet except for the timely tick of a clock and the dripping of a leaky faucet.

He slid against the farthest wall, popping a few multi-colored pills and rummaging in his pockets for the only thing that brought him relief. 

He pulled out a small, stainless steel razor. The first cut wasn't as deep, as usual. But gradually they got deeper, and soon blood was trickling down the boy's pale, scar ridden arms. 

His mind was foggy from the pills, forehead damp with sweat, and arms wet with blood. 

His head fell back to rest against the grimy tiles of the bathroom wall. Closing his eyes, he began to drift. The pills and blood lost was causing his eyes to feel heavy. He relaxed, going limp, causing his fist to soften.

The razor fell to the floor, creating a clattering that rang through the dank room.

'one last time'  he thought. 

He told himself this after each "session" of this destructive habit he called therapy. Obviously, he had yet to quit.

'maybe this time can be my last' 

He wanted more, no needed more. He felt around for the razor, not wanting to lift his head. After a few failed attempts, he realized he had to move to get what he wanted. He picked up his head, nausea immediately consuming his being as bile threatened to rise in his throat. Laying his head back, he sighed in defeat.  

'too fast'  he thought, 'too soon'

The boy's eyes began to droop, tired and burning from all the crying he had done last night. 

Is this the life he wanted? Surely not, but he had lost his only other outlet three months ago.

Tears pricked at his eyes, as the events from the past three months flooded his mind. Since the incident had happened, his life had a cycle of the same things; wake up, cry in the shower, go to school, go unnoticed, cut in the bathroom, go home, eat dinner, puke up dinner, cry again, get drunk, pass out, repeat. 

No one seemed to suspect a thing ( though, a few teachers and family friends have been nagging his usually drunk mother about how bad her son looked). 

He was so lost in his head that he didn't hear the door creak open, or the foot steps that led up to him. 

His eyes were closed, so he never saw the boy pick up the razor, or gather the belongings of the bleeding boy. 

He was slipping out of consciousness , so he never felt the boy wrap his wrist delicately with paper towels.

But most importantly, he never saw the boy with the silver ring in his lip shed tears for the boy with the scars on his writs. ~

///That's chapter one! I put a lot of myself into this, and I hope I can continue this story. The story was inspired by Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol. At the beginning of each chapter, I will put a quote from that song that I feel fits with the chapter and then a song to go with it. I honestly don't have anything else pre-written for this and I would like to continue it. If you like it and want more, let me know. Also when it comes to updating, I try to update whenever I can (sadly I get writer's block really easy, but this story is one i really want to do). Comment and vote to your heart's content and I am always up to chatting about anything whether it's bands or about mental stuff. Just send me a message via Wattpad and I'll respond ASAP. Lots of love always! - lost eMo // 470 words, posted on 12/10/18///