I Can't Hide The Fire Within (Divergent Fanfiction)

I Can't Hide The Fire Within Part 7

Hello! Here's the next chapter. Please let me know what you think

I had to laugh at that. It was such a dauntless response. No fear. No anxiety. Just doing things for the fun of it.

"Do you not want to live to be thirty?" I asked, chuckling.

It was meant as a joke but suddenly Dean’s face got very serious and he seemed to lose all the life in his eyes.

"I don't really know." He whispered. He said it so quietly that I wasn't sure he even intended for me to hear it, but I replied anyway.

"What do you mean?" I spoke softly. This change of attitude felt like it came out of nowhere and I wasn't prepared for it. I had only ever seen Dean happy. This sad boy in front of me was not one I was familiar with.

"Dauntless don't look after their old. Once you reach an age where you are no longer useful, they kick you out." I gasp quietly. That was not common knowledge and it almost made me relieved to have chosen amity, at least there they let you stay for life. "Physical strength is vital to be in dauntless, when you lose it they tell you to leave. It's something I've always known, and I wouldn't change my decision because of it, but it just ... It makes you think differently about old age, you know? We spend a lot of our time policing the factionless and trying not to think about how in forty maybe fifty years if you’re lucky this could be our future. Sometimes I think it would be easier if I were to just die young. If I die before I get to that stage then I won't have to face being turned away by my family." Dean explained whilst staring out of the train door.

Whilst he was talking he had slowly crept forward and he was now sitting in the doorway with his legs hanging out of the train. I had a horrible thought that he might launch himself out of the train in an impromptu suicide attempt but so far he had remained firmly seated on the ledge. The fact that he could sit there so calmly made my mind spin. I was starting to feel sick just looking at him, but I also couldn't get rid of the idea that he might throw himself from the train so I carefully made my way forward to sit next to him. I was almost hyperventilating when I swung my legs out to dangle next to his, but I still made myself do it. One glance down told me that we were about five stories up from the ground and in line with a couple of passing rooftops.

I immediately regretted looking down as I felt my stomach drop and my head begin to feel dizzy. I quickly clutched at Dean’s hand in the hope that we would be able to comfort each other. His warm hand in mine made my vision stop swimming and I was starting to regain control of my breathing. He was something solid I could grip onto whilst sitting in this perilous position. I only hoped that my hand was giving him as much support as his was giving me.

When I found my voice I managed to mumble a "that's horrible"

Dean gave a short snort at that comment, as though it amused him. I looked up at his face in confusion, but found him staring down at our joined hands. I was suddenly very aware that this was a lot of physical contact for dauntless. Amity were always a more "touchy-feely" faction and growing up in that society often made me forget that other people were more reserved with their touching. This was probably very weird for Dean. He was just staring at our interlocked fingers as though they were some kind of puzzle that he couldn't quite figure out. I'm sure that my hand was starting to sweat from the tension. I was just about to pull my hand from his grip when his fingers ever so slightly tightened around mine.