scintilla ☂ a tokyo ghoul story

chapter one

Ultimately, it's the set of heartbeats that wake you. One, two, three. So panicked, pumping fast, so fast that you think you could hear it several meters away. But it's right above your head - how else could it be so loud, a cacophony that nearly drives you into a fit because your stomach starts curling uncomfortably at the mere thought of food? Sound peels back in layers, starting with those heartbeats and going to your attempts of speech, your attempts of saying, "Go away." Except, it isn't successful at all; blood spills from your throat instead, and your voice comes out as a strangled gurgle. Fire lances the line of the weeping wound, and you shudder through it, fingers digging into the dirt as your hands clench into fists by your side.

Ah, you think. That's why it's so hard to breathe.

The city's lullaby comes back to you before a voice - her voice, as it turns out - does, and when you finally hear the words they sound as though they're traveling through water. Open those eyes of yours? You think that's the request, insistent and concerned. Too bad you can't - you're already drooling from the smell and sound alone, already feel veins bulging around your eyes, and you know that all she'll see are black scleras gleaming in the night.

Her voice finally clears as her fingers suddenly prod at your throat, causing you to flinch and grab at the wrist, to squeeze tight tight tight until she lets out a small cry, until you realize she's pulling away. "It hurts, stop!"

Good. Except not. You're drowning in your own blood and you're fading fast despite the world coming alive to your senses. You'll be alone alone alone, rip out your organs and feed yourself, eat everyone in sight - You release her wrist and crack open your eyes, and at the sight of her holding her wrist against her chest, of her body kneeling and curled slightly over yours, of her bulging stomach? It's a wonder you don't eat her then and there.

Or maybe it's not. Pregnant women are said to taste good, binge eaters calling them two-for-one meals, gourmets calling them delicacies, but the sight of them only makes you tired. Your hunger stabs at your sanity, but now it's not targeted at her. It's targeted at you.

You don't taste good; you taste like rotten fish, and the nutrients do little for you when you're just reusing what you got, but your hunger doesn't give a shit. Eat. It says. Eat eat eat, demolish those fools and hang their spines from fishing lines -

Eat. It says. Eat or you'll die.

You attempt breathing again, instead. And blood merely spills out of your throat without abandon. Only then do you realize she hasn't left. "Shh...save your strength." Her voice is pained and her eyes don't shy away from yours - is she stupid? She must be. Only smart enough to not touch you again, it seems.

And suddenly, the smell of rotting fish floods into the air, drowning out even her own delicious scent.

You suddenly convulse under her gaze, shuddering and attempting to tell her to go away for a whole other reason, but she doesn't get it, only panics and tries to console you until a grimy hand grabs her hair and pulls her up up up, throws her to the wall opposite of you and pins her with a sharp green claw. Kagune.

It's so fucking noisy then. Can't you die in peace? No, apparently. No, no, no. The ghoul is talking, you see him turn his body slightly to spit at you in derision. "Weakling. Letting a human coddle you? You deserve to die." And then he looks back at the woman, smiles kindly and says:

"Join her, will you?"

The set of heartbeat speeds up up up, and her eyes fearfully and shakily try to go back to yours, even as the ghoul crushes the space just to the right of her head. You want to ask, "Why aren't you running? Why aren't you screaming?" He's playing with his food, you want to say. You just might make it, you want to yell, if you can just get away and into the public eye.

You're tired; it's not your fight, you've been there and done that. Your mask was crushed and you were left to die, so you're not anybody special: just a rabid you. You almost close your eyes, even as he presses a hand against the source of that precious second heartbeat.

Instead, your eyes widen and two wings start blooming from your back - cracking as you force yourself up. He swears. Lets her go. You've already bitten through his elbow, tasting that horrid flavor even as you can't help but grimace, even as he knocks you back, spearing through your collar bone.

Even in close space, and with surprise on your side? Even with your throat closing up, and your hand going into his chest? You barely win, and you may not be drowning anymore, but he tears off the arm in his chest, the one grabbing at his heart, as you rip off his head.

To your everlasting surprise, as you feast the woman stays, face ashen and knuckles white from squeezing so tight, and she doesn't look away as you fumble into a standing slouch, blood staining your face and eyes so so wide and hungry, your arm sluggishly healing just like the rest of you - bone first, and just starting on muscle and nerves.

She bows low, once. "Thank you." She wheezes out, and you realize that maybe she couldn't move because she was hyperventilating till just now. She tries another word, cuts herself off to breathe deeply, and as you step back, away from her, she asks the question that will ruin you forever.

"Do you need a place to stay?"