Four
I woke up and Nichole lay beside me still sleeping. I looked over at my alarm clock on the nightstand and it was going on 9. I don't know if my dad got home yet or not. He usually checks up on us then heads to sleep, he won't be up until 12 or 1 then he'll go back to work at 9 tonight.
Nichole only had her bra on and her braids were all over the place. I looked over and her panties were still on the floor. I got up and walked to her side of the bed, putting them on her. I noticed the hickeys on her stomach and on the inside of her thighs. She didn't like when I left them on her neck. She thought it wasn't cute. I just think her ass didn't wanna get in trouble.
I put some socks on and brushed down the shaved parts of my hair before going downstairs. Manny was up watching TV with a plate of Eggo waffles and way too much syrup. He was 8 and annoying as hell. He didn't know that me and Four dated either. He believed we were friends and I want to keep it that way.
I went into the kitchen and started making pancakes and potatoes. I finished the potatoes first and got to work on the pancakes. Of course, Nichole came downstairs on cue.
"You can't cook." She said
"And ya breath stink." I shrugged
"It doesn't 'cause I brushed my teeth. You the one who likes to come straight downstairs and don't brush your teeth." She replied
"So I can't get a kiss?" I asked quietly
"Now you already know the answer."
I did. She hated kissing me in the morning when I didn't brush my teeth. She doesn't like morning breath at all. She loves me, not my morning breath. She does have a thing for my morning voice. It's deeper and raspier in the morning so she finds it attractive. She just refuses to kiss me.
"Come here-" I tried to pull her close
"No. Move Four!" She pushed me back
"Wha'chu mean? I can't get no love?"
"After you brush your teeth." Nichole said
"Hmm, watch the pancakes." I handed her the spatula and jogged upstairs
I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth. It takes me a little longer since I have the braces, but it's not too bad. I swished around with some water then spit it all out. I wiped my mouth then went back downstairs. Nichole was taking the pancake off the burner and scooped it out, putting it on a plate. I went up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist.
"Did you brush?" She asked
"Yes mother. Anything else?" I said sarcastically
"Then c'mere." She turned in my arms
Nichole wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me softly. It got a little deeper so I added some tongue which drove her crazy when we kissed. I pulled her closer, even though she couldn't be any closer to me. My hands trailed down to her butt and I had a nice, firm squeeze. I could hear her light and wispy moan come from deep in her throat. The kiss started getting really deep and turning sloppier. I knew she was getting turned on.
"Four!" I heard Manny call
We pulled away and instantly went back to what we were doing. Manny came in the kitchen with his plate, looking at the pan to see what I was cooking.
"Can I get some?" He asked
"Didn't you just eat?"
"I'm still hungry." He replied
"Whatever. Just go watch TV, it's almost done." I sighed and he left
I flipped the pancake and licked my lips. I looked over my shoulder and Nichole was on her phone. I knew she knew I was staring at her, but she never looked up. This is what made me feel guilty. I knew she hated having to be a secret to my family while to hers, I'm accepted and out in the open. She wanted to have that freedom more than anything. I could tell. I wanted it too. I just needed time to think about how I want to tell my parents.
I turned back to the stove and finished making breakfast. We ate and I made Manny wash the dishes since he wanted me to cook extra food after he already ate. I followed Nichole upstairs to my room and she immediately laid down on my bed. I sighed and sat on the corner. I watched her scroll through Instagram, trying to not make eye contact with me. I knew she wasn't upset with me, but she was disappointed. I didn't like to see her depressed either especially with her being such a bundle of energy.
"I'm sorry." I broke the silence
"I just need a lil more time to really figure out how I want to tell them-"
"You say this every time, Four. I get it, you're scared, don't know what to say, but when will you get the guts to just do it?" Nichole finally looked up at me
"It's not that easy-"
"It is, Four. You know that you're dad loves you and he'll listen. Even if he isn't proud of it, he might just learn to accept it. Even if he doesn't, you know there's a place for you at my house. My family doesn't mind-"
"And what am I supposed to do if we don't work out, huh? I can't live with people who wouldn't want me and I can't come back to this because I'll be the gay daughter that isn't wanted." I said
"I'm not leavin' you, Four. I love you and you know that. You wouldn't ever have to worry about where you'll need to go next in life." She replied and I just shook my head
"Why must you think of the worst?" She asked
"I need to be prepared. Why don't you think of the worst?" I asked
"Because I wanna live life happily, not stressed out."
"And that's your issue. Sometimes you need to think about the future and the different possibilities-"
"No that's your problem. You expect everyone to abandon you. I know your parents did and all those bitches that you used to fuck with did, but I'm not them. I'm here for you, Four, and I love you. I wanna watch you grow. I want to grow with you." Nichole said
"I do too. I just don't think we're in that place in life to be able to be free to do whatever we want-"
"No, Four, you won't let it be. When we're at my house, you know we can sleep in the same bed and I can sit on your lap or kiss me whenever and wherever. You can hold me and not an evil glance is given to us. We don't have to pull away from each other. Here, we're just friends and I wanna be so much more than just a friend. I hate that I can't show my affection in the comfort of your living room. I can only kiss on you when there's no eyes watching. I hate it, Four. I fucking hate it."
"Well what do you expect me to do?" I asked
"Be honest. Just talk to him. If you want, I can be there with you." She replied
I stared at her and I saw the sincerity in her eyes. I sighed, licked my lips and stood in silence. I went over and kissed her again. I needed to feel her soft lips on mine. They helped me relax and think, they comforted me on my darkest days. I needed that comfort now. I was scared. I was scared of being judged. I was scared of being disowned. I was scared of ruining a good relationship with my dad. I knew I would have to do it for myself regardless. I can't live in the shadow of fear forever.
And that's what scared me the most.
