The last thing I remembered is that a big pair of hands covered my eyes and a firm tender voice said, “Don’t look.” I’m thankful to these warm hands for sparing my eyes in seeing things I don’t want to see. Suddenly, he grabbed my hand and run away from the crowd. We run so fast until we couldn’t hear the crowd anymore. Then, he stopped and hugged me tightly. He said with a big smile on his face, “I finally found you.”
It has been a long time but I never forget that smiling face of his. It is Juliane, my other best friend aside from Melissa. He is half French and half Korean. We were neighbors when I was in high school. Juliane is a heart throb because of his bright personality and astonishing looks. His hair is black but he has light green eyes and long eye lashes. He is also very tall and fit to be a model. Like how I always stick to Melissa, Juliane always clings to me like a child. All the girls isolated me because they think that Juliane is my boyfriend. That is how I became a loner. But I never resented Juliane for not having more friends because Juliane is the one of the few persons who knows me the most. He and Melissa are the only ones I need. After graduating high school, Juliane went to the States to study. We lost contact with each other after a year. So, it is a surprise for me that he came back.
We’ve been away so long that it felt he became distant. It seems that he is different but familiar at the same time. I don’t know if he noticed my tears because it’s raining but I don’t want him to be worried so I cleared up my voice and said, “Welcome back. How have you been?”
His face darkens but he manages to slip a smile and said “I don’t know. But I’m very happy to see you. I found a very good place while exploring the university so I brought you here.”
He placed his two hands above my shoulder and turned me around. There, I saw many beautiful yellow flowers that are slowly blooming. Their scent is very different and unreal. It filled up my whole senses that I almost forgot what happened tonight. I’d like to smell this flower the whole night. The view is so beautiful that I think I’m about to cry.
“What are these flowers?” I asked Juliane.
“It is called moon flowers. Their flowers only bloom at night and die the next morning. They are actually ugly plants but their flowers are awesome. I thought that it will bloom tonight so I tried my best to show it to you.” He said.
What he said made me think of myself and my resemblance to these flowers then I said, “I pity these plants. People call them ugly so they waited months for a flower to bloom. But when they do, they would wait even longer to wait for someone to see it. But when the morning comes, all those flowers were gone. What if no one comes to see these flowers? They wouldn’t even know that a very beautiful flower once blooms in here.”
Then Juliane said while smelling the flowers, “I don’t pity these plants but I pity the people. They passed the opportunity to give time to see this beautiful flower in full bloom. They will never know how wonderful these flowers are. I believe these flowers only choose people that loved them enough to wait for them to bloom. And we are that lucky people. ”
He then looked at me and said, “You don’t have to hold back your tears. I knew you were heart broken. You like him right?... That guy singing a while ago. I was watching you during the event. I was waiting for you to notice me though you never did. I noticed how your eyes is only fixated on him. Then I realized, ah! So that’s the guy who stole her heart. I know you’re hurt. You can cry on me like how I cried on you when we are kids. Now, it’s my time to protect you.”
Juliane is still the same. He always saw through me. It’s like there is no distance between us. After hearing that, I cried and cried until the last drop of my tears fell. I never cried that hard in my whole life. I don’t know it would be this hard to fall in love.Juliane stayed quiet while tapping my shoulders the whole night.
The next morning I woke up, I’m already at my dormitory. Is it a dream? But when I look at the mirror, I saw my two swollen eyes. It’s definitely not a dream. Thank God, it’s Saturday today. I hope my eyes would be alright soon. Then, Mary, my roommate, came and asked me. “You’re already awake? Sep, who is the cool guy that piggy back ride you here ? He looks like a foreigner.”
Oh? So Juliane carried me to my dormitory? I should thank him when I see him. I never knew he’d be so cool and mature.
“He is Juliane, my best friend.” I said.
“Oh? So he’s only your bestfriend? Do you know that it is every girl’s dream to be carried that way by a prince like him?” she said.
“Well, I guess.... I never saw Juliane as a prince since he is always with me. But that night, I thought that he would pass as my Knight in shining armor. I really owe him one.” I said.
Then, I look for my bag so I could study but I can’t find it.
“ Ah! Right! I forgot my bag at my music club room. I left it there before.”
So I went to the music club room. It’s not locked so I just entered and get my bag. As expected, there are no people at the music club room. I am not in a hurry so I just sat in silence for a long time. I reminisced what happened last night. The first image that came to my mind is that night of the concert when J.L. confessed his love. I think I couldn’t contain my feelings anymore so I wrote it in a piece of paper. Then I wrote:
To the Person I once Loved:
I prevented myself from loving you but it grew as time went by. I thought like a sunflower stored away from the sun, my feelings will wither and die .I never cried, no, not a single tear fell down my cheeks. But that night when you held her in your arms, my tears fell down with the rain. Every time I think of you, my already broken heart shattered a little more. I should have never let you entered my life, that way I won’t get hurt. It is my selfishness that loved you alone without you knowing. But my selfishness is just to protect my heart. In the end, this selfish heart is the only one hurting and you don’t even know. Please don’t smile at me, don’t be kind to me. Don’t let me feel that you need me anymore. Please save my heart from loving you a lot deeper. I don’t think I could handle my heart slowly dying from pain. I loved you and that is enough. I’m happy for your found happiness. Let me find my own too.
After writing all my thoughts on the paper, I crumpled it and tried to shoot it on the trash can near the door. I said to myself, “This should be the end.” The paper only rolls near the door and is not on the trash can. I was about to get off from my sit to properly throw the paper to the trash can. But then, the door opened. It is J.L. He noticed the crumpled paper near the door and opened it to read. Then, with his confused look, asked,
“Is it a confession? Who is this person you are talking about?”
I stood there shocked and unable to find the words I should say. Should I confess? Or should I lie?
