Indifferences [n.h]

Chapter 11

Maggie's POV

I sit outside Carlos’s extravagantly overpriced office for what feels like hours, just staring blankly down at my phone screen. I know I came two hours early, but what else am I supposed to do? Sitting in my apartment revelling in the strange flashbacks of the past few days certainly isn't an option. When he finally lets me in, I struggle to listen to a word he is saying, my mind is still buzzing from Niall’s and my fight just hours ago. I was stupid to believe there was a chance that he could be nice to me,  I know the back of my mind likes the idea of being friends with him. Maybe he led me on, but either way I fell for it, I fell and I nearly let him in. He doesn't care about me, I always knew that. I was simply too naïve, too dumbfounded by the way he let me in to see beyond the fact that he only lets people in to hurt them again.

He is probably the most selfish person I have met in my life. I know he despises the fame, so do I, but at least I don't take out my hate on other people in my situation. He already believes he is a bad person, which is true, but it is funny such an egotistic person is actually aware that he too has flaws. Despite his narcissistic view of himself, Niall is surprisingly insecure.

I know I provoked him. It was my fault for reacting to his simple request to watch a film, and my unnecessary need to provide backlash everything he says. I shouldn't have said those things; I probably came off as a jealous girl who has no idea why she is jealous. I am not jealous though. I don't even know what I am. 

I don’t know, nor do I even understand or comprehend the feelings I have towards this situation.

I guess I am just hurt.

Carlos decided he wanted me to record a few things he wanted to try out for a new song genre he has this fantasy about. I decided to just go along with it and when I actually hear the song I’ll do something about it. I don’t get back to my apartment until seven in the evening. So I make myself comfortable and settle in for a much needed movie night all by myself. I could do with some alone time, just to figure out what the hell happened today.

My phone ringing brings me from the rerun of ‘how I met your mother’ I decided on. For once they are playing the best rerun when I actually need it. Jack’s name flashes across the screen, and I momentarily debate whether I should pick up or not before I bring the stupid thing to my ear.

“Hey Jack,” I say.

“Maggie, I have this friend, I really want you to meet him some time this week,” His voice is far too enthusiastic. I want to ask him if he is joking and that’s why he is so abrupt with this. But this is Jack.

I wish he would give up on this finding me a partner thing. It isn’t any of his business, and I know he only does it because he doesn’t like my supposed ‘taste’ in guys. He is my brother, not my matchmaker.

“It’s fine, I’ve got meetings with Carlos every day,” I lie quickly in the hopes to waver off his offer without hurting him. He is my brother after all, and besides Louis and his family, he and my mother are all I have.

“You have to try Maggie, find a guy who is nice, smart, successful and good looking, just like my friend, and if you’re not going to consider Tyler again, you should at least give this guy a go,” he says. I’m surprised he didn’t say ‘And not like the guys in Louis’s band’, I’ve come to realise he disapproves of every single one of them.

“You sound like you’re advertising this poor guy,” I can’t help but laugh at my brother who heaves a sigh over the line.

“You can meet on the weekend, Saturday night, come on,” I can imagine him pacing his apartment as he begs me.