Unexpected Discoveries (Jemily)

Chapter 19

When Emily heard JJ slam the door to her bedroom, she knew things were not looking pretty for her. Why did she have to say this much? Why did she have to phrase her sentences the way she did? What the hell was wrong with her? JJ was right. She should have known better. And she did. Because she could see JJ's love for her every time she looked into her eyes. Every time they touched, every time they made love, she could see how completely in love JJ was with her. So why couldn't she trust that and just keep her mouth shut? Why oh why did she have to go accusing JJ of playing her or not treating her seriously? Just because she was scared of JJ's parents not accepting the relationship. But to go from that to telling JJ what she did... Oh Emily Prentiss was definitely mad at herself, but since she couldn't really take back what she said, she decided she needed to beg JJ for forgiveness.

When she got to the bedroom, the door was closed. She gently placed her hand on the doorknob, but before she could turn it, she heard JJ's voice from inside the room, "Don't you even dare come in." Emily couldn't help but smile at how easily JJ could sense her presence even when she was so mad at her.

"JJ, please." Emily begged, still not turning the doorknob.

"No, go find yourself someone who isn't going to be turned straight by their mother!" JJ shot back angry and Emily just couldn't wait any longer to see JJ and explain. So she opened the door and went into the room. "I told you not to come in." JJ was still angry and Emily hated herself for hurting the blonde that way. JJ was now sitting on the bed, with her face buried in her hands, refusing to look at the brunette.

For a moment Emily just stood there, keeping her distance, trying to come up with something to say, but nothing that made sense came to mind, so she just whispered, "I'm sorry."

"You should be." JJ said firmly, her face still in her hands. After another moment of silence, she looked up at Emily. "Do you really think I'm just going to wake up one day and decide that I kind of liked it better when I was straight?" She asked, her voice shaking, tears in her eyes.

"Of course not!" Emily insisted. And she really didn't. She knew the depth of JJ's feelings for her and why in the world she decided to question that was beyond her. So stupid!

"Because if this is how you really feel... If you look at me and you are scared that I'm not all in, then I must have been doing something wrong..."

"You have done nothing wrong, JJ, believe me." Emily assured her, feeling her own tears making their way down her cheeks now. "This was all me. Me being stupid and insecure and accusing you of things that are not there. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." Emily now sat down on the bed next to JJ and took the blonde's hand in hers. JJ didn't protest, which Emily took as a good sign.

"I just don't understand." JJ said after a moment, helplessness in her voice. "I thought you knew..."

"I do know, JJ, I do." Emily sighed deeply as she started gently stroking JJ's hand. "I don't know what came over me, I really don't. I just... I freaked out and I'm really sorry." Emily said and JJ turned her head to face the brunette now. Emily continued her apology. "I didn't mean to imply that I don't trust you or your feelings, because I do. I really do. I've never trusted anybody with my heart the way I trust you. So please believe me when I tell you that I don't doubt your feelings for me, not for a second." She looked into JJ's eyes and gently wiped the tears from the blonde's face. "I don't know what in the world possessed me to say what I said and trust me, I hate myself for that enough for the both of us." She added and JJ couldn't help but smile.

"I don't hate you." She promised, although she figured Emily had to know at least that. "I just... It just hurt when you said all those things, because I thought I've never given you a reason to feel like I wasn't sure about this... About us. Because I'm sure, Emily. Like I've never been sure of anything in my entire life." She took Emily's face in her hands and continued. "I. Love. You." She said enunciating every single word. "I love you and nothing and no one can ever make me stop. Ever. Okay?" She asked with desperation in her voice and as she looked into Emily's eyes, she knew the answer.

"Okay," Emily confirmed. She smiled softly as she covered JJ's hands with hers. "I'm sorry I freaked out. I guess the thought of losing you-"

Emily didn't manage to say anything else as JJ closed the already small gap between their lips. The kiss was gentle and delicate, yet sent shivers through their bodies. When JJ broke the kiss, she looked at Emily with a pounding heart and promised her, "You are not going to lose me, Emily. I am yours, forever, and nothing can change that. Nothing." She repeated as she crashed her lips onto Emily's again, this time pressing them hard, desperate for physical contact with the brunette. She needed to show her, she needed Emily to know how much she loved her and as she felt Emily's tongue seeking entry into her mouth, it was enough for her to know that Emily needed it too. As their tongues danced together, their hands were making slightly uncontrollable trips up and down each other's bodies. Clothes were getting lost in the process and the two women were desperate to learn all about each other's bodies again, as if the conversation they had just had took something from them. JJ, desperate to prove to Emily how much she loved her and Emily desperate to prove to JJ that she really did believe her and that she had no more doubts about the liaison's feelings. She couldn't with the way JJ was looking at her right now.

"I love you, you know that, right?" Emily managed to whisper, her breathing getting shallow as she felt JJ's hands and lips in places that only JJ was allowed to touch.

"I know." JJ breathed out. "And now shut up and let me show you how not straight I really am."

Emily chuckled and thought to herself that accusing JJ of being straight was certainly beneficial in some respects. Although it wasn't long until Emily was no longer able to form any thoughts in her head.