Home for Horny Monsters - Book 3

Roommate Trouble

Beth sat at the large dining room table with a small plate of bacon, some coffee and a large plate with the remnants of a strawberry crepe. She scribbled a few more words on a notepad by her laptop, frowning at the list.

"Any luck?" Sofia asked, walking in with her own breakfast. The cyclops took the seat across from Beth. A few of the seats in the formal dining room had been designed for larger people, allowing the cyclops to sit comfortably at the table. As far as Beth could tell, the table was made of one piece of wood, which was impossible unless it had been built inside the room. Even then, the piece of wood it had come from would have been larger than the door. So unless the room and house had been built around it, it had to be magic related.

"Sort of." Beth held up her list. "As far as I can tell, a lot of stuff that is missing can be tracked down to a shop in Colorado that buys and sells weird shit, which saves me plenty of time. However, they aren't answering their phone, so I'm not sure where to go from here." Over a week ago, Beth had discovered an unknown storage unit belonging to the home's previous owner and had gone to investigate. She hadn't known at the time that some of those objects would be magical, nor did she expect the home itself to be an immensely powerful magical item. The discovery had both thrilled and terrified her. A large box had been sold at an auction by mistake, and now the unknown objects were out there somewhere like ticking bombs, ready to wreak havoc.

"Well, I suppose it's for the best. It's not like the Society can use any of those to get in and attack us anymore. Not as long as Mike winds the sundial every morning." Once Mike twisted the sundial, he had twenty four hours to twist it again. The magical stone lions out front would smash anybody who stepped into the yard and posed a threat to the house.

"Is it though? The assumption is that anything kept here was kept for a reason. We assume the furniture is just furniture, but who knows?" Beth chewed on her lower lip, her eyes on her computer screen. What were you up to Emily, she wondered.

"Well, let's just hope that-" Sofia's large purple eye glowed intensely, indicating a psychic vision of imminent danger. She reached across the table and grabbed Beth by the front of her robe, then pulled her across the dark wood, scattering both of their breakfasts onto the floor.

Above where Beth had been sitting, the plaster of the ceiling cracked and burst, two figures falling through onto the table below, their bodies aglow in blue light. Through the dust, Beth saw Mike scramble to his feet, his face covered in white powder with the fairy Cerulea clinging to his lips. He grabbed Tink and yanked her clear. A thousand pounds of gargoyle crashed through behind them, the sudden weight causing the table to splinter and break. Her wings splayed out, knocking the chairs away from where she landed.

"Abella, are you okay?" Beth knelt down by the gargoyle. Abella opened her dark eyes and let out a disappointed sigh.

"Yeah. My pride took a hit though. My wings got caught up and I couldn't do much but slow my fall." She stared up into the opening above them. There was movement behind the dust.

"Cheese eating fuck-faced rat!" Tink pulled a hammer off of her belt and hurled it at the opening above them from her place on the floor. The moment it left her hand, a brown figure stuck its face out through the smoky cloud only to be struck by the heavy tool. The rat, about a foot tall, fell out of the hole to land on Abella. Abella grabbed the rodent by the scruff of the neck, but it had gone limp, already dead.

"Gross. Looks like you got him." Beth said.

"One of many." Mike stood on shaky legs. "I'm honestly at a loss here. They actually laid a trap for us."

"Who did?" Beth put out an arm, helping Mike to the wall.

"The rat king." MIke sneezed, a cloud of dust leaving the top of his head and revealing the brown hair beneath. "Little bastard informed us that this home belonged to him, and then he pulled an actual cord which opened a trap door beneath us."