The Wrong Side of The Tracks

| s i x

Alex Jones

          Waking up that morning was hard, the hangover didn't help. Little snippets of last night flashed through my mind as my alarm clocked blared in my ears. I felt the grogginess of the morning hold me down like a weighted blanket. Something that was supposed to calm you just filled you with anxiety instead. 

          As much as I didn't want to move, to get out of the blankets that seemed to swallow me whole. Something I wish the world would do. I knew that I had to show up, show them; him, that they can't defeat me that easily. I've gone through hell being openly gay, I can handle a school trying to tell me not to be. 

          It took me ten minutes to be outside and waiting for the bus, the sunglasses on my head was an obvious tell that I was hungover. Sure enough, after five minutes of waiting. Peter Harvey was right at his front gate. Glaring at me.

          I turn my music up as I enter the bus, I can already hear the whispers forming as Peter and I don't sit next to each other. People were staring at me and it seemed as if my music couldn't go any louder.

          I could still hear them. 

          The bus sped off, over the railway tracks and stopping right at Camellia Roberts house. When she came out, she didn't have the obvious perk in her walk. Instead, she bowed her head and sat two rows behind me. As she walked by, however, I could see the shade of purple and blue on her cheek. 

          I wonder if today she'll finally talk to me. Or was I stupid to believe I was worth it after all these years?

          By the time we reached the school, I could already tell the rumours had spread greatly. So many different stories on one little thing. If I thought I was the centre of attention before, oh lord was I wrong. 

          It felt like the first time I had come out as gay, Camellia's little sister heard every word of our conversation and the next thing I knew, the whole town knew. When I hopped off the bus, everyone was looking at me; whispering. 

          No one even talked to me.  

          After that, I was never allowed to step foot in Camellia's house ever again. Something that haunted me for days was the look of disapproval from her parents. The same parent's that helped me through everything.

          What a joke.

          I couldn't help but laugh as I entered homeroom, everything was exactly the same as it was all those years ago. I'm sure people thought I was crazy as I just stared at everyone and laughed. An ironic laugh. A laugh that makes you hurt less.

          Miss Apples just looked at me, shocked.

          "Miss Jones, can I speak to you outside please?" She asks, her voice was a soft whisper and her eyes were bathed in sympathy.

          I walked out of the doorframe I just walked into, ignoring the whispers that happened as soon as Miss Apples left the room. She looked at me up and down as the class bell rang loud above our ears. 

          "What seems to be the problem now? Did someone else complain about me being gay?" I shake my head, leaning against the wall and letting my bag fall to the ground.

          "What? No," Her voice was completely different, unlike her normal sweet and soft tone. She sounded, human?

          "Then, what?"

          "Well, there are rumours that, well that Peter Harvey raped you." I was shocked, raped me? Is that what people were thinking?

          "They're saying it was an attempt to turn you straight," She laughed, Miss Apples laughed. 

          "I don't think rape is funny, Miss,"

          "No, I'm not laughing about that. I'm laughing at how someone could think that rape could turn you straight. If anything it would make you gayer." She rubs the spot between her eyebrows with her ring finger. Showing off a ring I never knew she had.

          "Are you married?" I ask her, she shakes her head.

          "Engaged, It's still illegal to get married."

          It took me a moment to process everything. Miss Apples rubbed my shoulder and walked back into her classroom, her voice returning to normal. I just stood outside looking like an idiot.

          I was about to walk back into the room when I saw Camellia run into the bathroom. Two boys laughing in the distance. My hand hovered over the handle before I turned around and ran in the same direction as her.

          I opened the bathroom door slightly, just giving me a clear enough view of Camellia crying by the basin. I wanted to turn around and leave, she didn't deserve my sympathy.

          But everything inside me told me to stay, to go to her. We were both broken, alone and scared. We both needed somebody.

          So I went to her.