Loving Hobbits

Love at first sight

Hi, my name is Jeremiah, i am a Hobbit, it means that im a bisexual, but i like homos more. And this is the story of, how i met Aaron.
It was a beautiful day, every girl waited outside for that handsome piece of hobbit a**, named Aaron. Even i waited for him, and im a man, deadass. No homo tho, maybe a little bit. Aaron opened his door and walked outside, he flipped his beautiful blonde hair and licked his own eyeball with his frog tongue.
"That's hot" i said. Aaron looked at me, not the way he looks at girl, he smirked at me, and winked at me, does he also swing the same way than me? Maybe, i'll never know.
  I felt the need to go talk to him, after all i've had a crush on his a** for a long time. I walked in front of him and said "hi, im Jeremiah, i saw you looking at me funny, sup?" Aaron looked at me suspiciously and said "u gay?" DAMN how did he find out? I have to get out. "Im just kidding, wanna go grab a muhfukin drink?" At that part I realized that i have fallen in love with him, i felt a tingle in my tummy, and somewhere else. "Yeh" i replied.
There we was, chilling at the club, drinking beer, jk i was drinking milk.
"No offence but this is some good vodka" Aaron said. "Yeh, this milk tastes rusty though" i replied.
"So, you wanna come back to my place?" Aaron asked. "Yeh, how do we get there?" I asked. Aaron laughs and says "i can fly Biatch."
I remember seeing a very reptile looking guy, before we exited the club. He looked at us like he hated Hobbits. "I really hate Hobbits, i should stop them from being together, and make them straight!" Lizard man said.
"A whole new world..." i sang, Aaron laughed while flying, his laugh sounded very girly that i almost didn't like it. We landed in front of my house, Aaron looked very handsome, so handsome that i almost cried. "Well i guess i'll go now.." Aaron said. I leaned forward for a kiss, he also did so. We were so close to kissing, but then we heard a huge CRACK, we turned around and saw the Lizard guy laying down. "I broke my Feking leg!!!" Lizard man said, "Help me you Conts!!!" Aaron and i looked at each others, and we started to laugh like in a comedy movie, it was so funny. Soon people came to help Lizard guy while we laughed, damn.
Aaron left without kissing me, that reptilian son of a widow ruined our moment. I started crying once i closed my door. I cried and cried until i fell asleep. Lizard guy was watching me sleep. "I'll get you, Jeremiah, I'll get you for what you did to me" said the Lizard guy before he got caught and taken away by the nurses.
Once i woke up, i checked out my mailbox, someone had left me a letter, with lipsticky kiss on it. I opened it and read it out loud. "Sorry dude, you're very handsome, no homo tho, jk im very gay, Catch me outside at the village center today, i'll kiss your toes. -A" Its a letter from Aaron! Im so happy! Then i noticed that my neighbour Steve listened through the whole letter and he said "yoo that shit's gay"