WEFLY [ 최유정 & 조유리 Life Fanfiction ]

Yoojung's Diary J.3

I walked alone in the corridor and was thinking about a lot of things. About the fact that my heart keeps bleeding whenever I am with him. Or about the fact that I miss my former groups IOI and Weki Meki. I think everytime about the things I may have broken because of my uselessness. I closed my eyes and sang one of my favorite song, "You are the reason" from Calum Scott. That song is trully beautiful. Everytime I sing this song, I just want to yell once to let all my worries getting out. I think Jimin should stop speaking to me with this kindness and that interest. Just because he does that, I hope something I shouldn't and that's what I find heart breaking. He doesn't know how that hurt to stay silent to feelings that just wants to be exposed. Really. But I want him to care about me like he does now. I miss him everytime he leaves me. I want to see his smile every minutes in a day. I want all the happiness to him. But then, I can't be his.  This is really too painful.

Doyeon : Yoojung !

I opened my eyes to see who was calling me and I saw Doyeon. Here she was, the one I wanted to talk to.

Doyeon : Are you okay? Why are you crying?

The way she was caring about me melt my heart. She is so lovable seriously.

Yoojung : That's nothing, really. I'm okay. I was just thinking about our IOI members.
Doyeon : Yah you crying baby. You'll make me crying too !
Yoojung : Sorry...
Doyeon : Did you talk to Jimin?
Yoojung : Yes...
Doyeon : Is it one of the reasons that made you cry?
Yoojung : Well should I say yes? You know how are my feelings. That hurts honestly. I need to keep silence and that's hurting me.
Doyeon : Everyone lives it once in their life. Sometimes you have no choice to let the one you love goes without you. This is hurtful but if he is the one you trully love, as long as he is happy, you'll just smile and be happy yourself for him.
Yoojung : Is that's what's you lived for Eun Woo?
Doyeon : Yes and No. That's different. I liked him and he liked me but we were both debuting so we couldn't go out properly. That's why we stopped our relations. That's not like it's a one sided love. But I love him too much to be able to see him with another woman. I'll be terribly jealous if that was happening.
Yoojung : Then why did you tell me the contrary?
Doyeon : Because even if you're a sensible crying baby, I think you're really strong. Strong enough to let the one you love goes even if it's painful. You are that kind of person that get depressed quickly but you are also kinda strong to surpass it. That's why I believe in you more than anyone.

I couldn't stop my tears hearing what she was telling me. That's why I said once at an interview that I don't care about gender. I want a lover that will have a relation with me just like I've got with Doyeon. She is my best friend. She is my confident girl friend. She is my childhood friend. She is my most beloved one.

Doyeon : But you know, I think you should tell him your feelings.
Yoojung : Why?
Doyeon : You could feel better after telling him. Like the pressure would disappear. You know, now it's hurting. But when you'll tell him, you may feel free. That's why I think you should tell him.
Yoojung : I don't know... I don't want to lose him as a friend...
Doyeon : If he is a good man, he won't allow you to end your friendship even if you fell in love with him and he didn't.
Yoojung : But...
Doyeon : There is no negative feedback. Just go and tell him.

I kept silence for a second and then I nodded my head.

Yoojung : Okay, I will. Tonight I'm training dance along with him. Maybe should I take the opportunity to tell him?
Doyeon : Oh ! Is he going to training too? Then I'll see both of you. Oww I'll ask to the trainer to do a special duet day training. If we are many to ask him, he'll say yes.
Yoojung : No ! I don't want to be alone with him too much...
Doyeon : Hwaiting yoojung ! You must be strong enough to confess !
Yoojung : Thank you doyeon. I love you.
Doyeon : Yah I didn't mean it to be me !
Yoojung : But I seriously mean it. I don't want to lose you either.
Doyeon : Me too. You're my precious friend. Don't forget that !