Eleven Roses

Chapter Nine

I pull open the door to the refrigerator. I didn't feel like eating the leftovers dad had left behind, maybe for lunch. I think I'll make something to eat.

I grab the carton of eggs out of the refrigerator. Along with that I grab a metal bowl and place the pan onto the gas stove. I crack two eggs into the bowl and begin to whisk them. I toss them into the pan and let them fry. I do all this while running the events of last night through my head. Well...until i could smell the eggs over cooking.

I tossed the eggs onto a plate and made my way into the yellow painted dining room. The pastel yellow walls and dark mahogany table depicted the memories of my childhood. The long family dinners, the game nights, the birthday parties, the "talks"...all of it. The yellow dining room gave off a sense of warmth and safety. It takes me back to when everything was simple. Now it was all complex but the dining room still seemed to calm me down.

I pulled myself away from the serenity of the room and back to my thoughts of last night. For some reason the thought of Fynn came into my head first. What was i missing? I had a sneaking suspicion that i wasn't reading what Fynn had told me last night right. Why would his mother just up and leave like that? That couldn't be the case. A huge sigh escaped my mouth, i needed to stop thinking about it, about him.

What was that feeling i had last night? When all those girls were staring me down with what felt like unmistakable envy. I enjoyed it. Why? I enjoyed being popular, i enjoyed getting looked at. Imagine the possibilities if i followed through with the personality Jess has constructed for me.

And Jess. She's new but she's my blessing. She has opened my eyes to my new addiction to attention. I don't wanna be "little Lara Hannings" anymore. I'm done with living in the shadows of everyone.

My thoughts were unstable. It was as if i could see them bouncing off of the pastel walls turning the pretty yellow into a deep black everytime they collided. The worst part was that i couldn't do anything to stop them...all i could do was sink into the inky black.

I didn't mind.