Of Band-Aids and Bullet wounds

i.

I did the thing
The thing with the boy who said he loves me but didn't really or maybe he did
Who knows?
I did the thing that was supposed to be reserved for married couples or at the very least people who love each other
I did the thing where you take off your clothes and try to fit together
I did the thing where the boy places himself inside of me
I did the thing on my back
On my front
On my knees
I did the thing that i told myself I wasn't ready for
I did the thing without caring about the fucking thing
I did the thing with the boy that I love but don't actually love
I did the damn thing with the damn boy and damnit it wasn't a big thing
It was an everyday thing
A small
Almost minuscule thing
Because everyone does the thing
Everyone fucking loves the thing
But the thing about me doing that thing is that I can't fucking believe i did that fucking thing