Keeping Secrets

Prolouge: Summer's Pov

I don't know where I am anymore. I don't know what I'm doing sometimes. I'm always lost in my wandering thoughts. I bite the inside of my lip, I bite my nails and stare into space also rock back and fourth. I know I have pots if potential, I just can't seen to do anything. You see in not myself. I used to be smiling and laughing all the time, not having a care on the world. Now I sit here with the feeling of emptiness. Blank stare, pale face, staring into space, and doing my nasty little habits. Just hoping maybe one day I'll get.

- D .r .p

It's this very quote that relates to me in every single way. It's this quote that just keeps replaying in my head, this quotes that taunts every living waking second of my life. Other than this quote time is also always on my mind. It's amazing what time can do to you. It makes you realize every single thing you've done wrong on your past. It can drive to insanity and that's exactly what's happening to me. I'm going crazy. There's nothing to do about it and there no way to stop it. Lately I've been taking it out myself. I've been harming my body. I cut myself to relive the pain inside. I do so many things that nobody will ever know about. Until one day I go to far. I cut a little to deep, a little harder, a little longer. Just a little bit and the world I know will end. Then again do I really want to end this life I'm living in? Nobody would care, they would all just be curious on what happened. But there is my friends I know they would care. They would care so much because in between the laughing,smiling and sharing secrets with each other we care about one another. We really do care a lot about each other but at the same time we have don't have a care in the world. And I suppose all of that would stay the same if it wasn't for reality. All reality does is swoop I and shows us how cruel the real world can be and it does it job well. The truth is reality sucks. It's so sad to think that I was once a girl who believed in fairy tales and magic but that's not the case anymore. Reality has filled my mind putting demons inside and puts the thought that I will never truly be loved in my head. I'd give anything to build a fantasy world where I could return to the life that was so beautiful. The life where I had hopes and dreams of escaping reality because everyone wants to get away sometimes. Some people use drugs some use exercise. But In the end were all searching for the same thing, were searching for that one place where we can be safe and no one can hurt us. All my friends search for it. Spring searches for it to get away from all the fake friends that are just all trying to use her. Winter she searches to get away from her insecurities. Autumn searches for her freedom. And me, I search for a place where the past doesn't define who you are. A place where you won't be judged. A place where it doesn't matter what clothes you wear or who your friends are, somewhere where society doesn't put a label on you or tells you what to do. But that doesn't exist or so I thought... We all thought it didn't exist. When we were there reality disappeared and we thought that it was gone but it eventually came back. In that time we lived again, we renewed ourselves, we no longer lived in fear. What we forgot about though was time and since time is always moving forward even if we don't feel it, it still does no matter what and now all thanks to time the time of our lives is gone. Only to be left with the memories of what used to be.