"hey!"
i stop at my fifth step.
"yeah you!"
i turn slowly. afraid of what is ahead.
instead the short, stocky man sticks out a flyer with a naked picture on it.
i swallow. inhale. exhale.
"tonight. 10pm. be there. get your chain yanked, yknow?"
i hold it, shaking.
the lady on the front smiles falsely. her bare breasts resting on a pool table. she sticks out her unobtainable cartoon body out, as she goes to take a shot at the 8 ball.
one two three four five.
"no thank you kind sir."
five words.
one two three four five.
five more steps.
start over.
one two three four five.
again.
one two three four five.
—
his small bony fingers dig through the potato roll, aggressively he devours it in its entirety in the matter of seconds.
laying in the spring mattress.
my head in my hands.
shaking knees.
cold, dirty feet.
tapping anxiously.
one two three four five.
"you want some ryan?"
his pure and gentle voice breaks me from my thoughts.
"very kind, but no thanks."
five words.
"you're countin again."
he presses his small skinny hand against my shoulder.
"it's just to five."
"but you can't focus when you count."
he takes my hand away from my face seeing the flyer in my hand.
"what dis?"
i try to take it away from him.
"a flyer for a show."
he gasps loudly, looking at the brightly colored balls and lights on the neon paper.
"please please please please can we go?"
i sigh. he's so young.
"it's not that kind of show. and i don't want to go."
he points at the bold purple text reading:
'IMPRESS US WITH YOUR TALENTS,
AND YOU WIN A PRIZE!'
an image of a giant teddy bear wearing a bra catches his eye.
"please. ryan? for the prize. i'll never ask you ever again."
i glance down at his pale thin fingers, gripping the paper with all his strength.
at the bottom of the paper it says that the bar is hiring.
"hmmmmm. sounds like a deal, quinn."
he wraps his fragile arms around me.
"thank you thank you thank you-,"
"okayyy okay. let's get you to bed."
he lays back on the mattress as i cover him with my jacket.
his small body shivers.
he'll warm up soon.
"do you want me to sing for you again tonight?"
he nods with his whole body.
i recall the familiar tune..
moon river-
wider than a mile,
i'm crossing you in style-
someday.
oh dream maker-
you heart breaker-
where ever you're going,
i'm going,
your way
...
