Beloved

21.

'You are fidgeting again' Haya mentioned the next day when I told what happened with Zaid in detail. She didn't see it as a big deal, but I did. After my conversation with Zaid I thought a lot about my next steps in life. Yes, I liked Hamza. I liked him a lot actually...but then what? Even if I was ready to commit to him, the fear of turning my back on my responsibility towards Haya was pulling me back from reaching out to him. I was so scared of my negative thoughts that I was avoiding Hamza's calls because I didn't want to say something wrong to him to make things go back to the way it was before. I felt like I was going in circles, going and coming back to the same place where I started from.

'I am not' I told her on our way home from her school.

'How did the class go? Was he there?' Haya asked me.

'It felt weird going back...thankfully we only have two more weeks left' I told her. I couldn't believe only two weeks were left before we reach the end of the program. I couldn't wait to finally graduate from college.

'You didn't answer my second question' She pushed.

'No, he is still in Naran' I replied and started walking faster.

'Why aren't you picking up his calls? What if he in trouble and needs your help?' She advocated.

'Did you get any homework?' I asked instead.

'You are going to make him upset if you keep ignoring him' She continued.

'Okay, then we will revise some previous chapters today...your midterms are coming up soon' I continued with my own conversation.

'If you were not my sister, I would be very upset with you right now' She yelled from behind when I approached our house and I grabbed my keys from my bag to unlock the door.

'But I am very upset' I heard a voice coming from the behind me and my keys fell on the ground. What was he doing here? I quickly grabbed my keys from the floor and turned around only to find Hamza few steps behind Haya looking intensely in my direction. The cast was still on his arm but other than that he was looking a lot better from before. I had to blink a few times to make sure I was not imagining this. 

'I am going in' Haya quickly came towards and grabbed the keys right from my hands to unlock the door, leaving me alone with Hamza and his angry looking glare.

'Remember me?' He finally spoke, and I walked towards him, unable to meet his eyes.

'When did you get here?' I asked him.

I looked up to him when he didn't answer my question.

'Did you get your phone fixed?' He stared at me.

'What?' I blinked.

'Oh, your phone is working fine? That's strange because I think I called you a few times last night and this morning, but I got no response' He came closer to me.

'I was busy' I stared back at him.

'I see that now' His jaw tightened as he turned around to leave.

'Hamza' I called out his name.

'Come to me when you're ready to talk...you know where I live' He replied without turning back and walked away, leaving me guilt once again. 

'That went well' Haya's voice made me jump when I entered the house.

'You were listening to our conversation?' I couldn't believe her.

'Don't look at me like that...and besides I didn't have to try hard, you guys were practically screaming at each other' She tried to hide her smile but failed.