Dean (COMPLETED)

Chapter 14

Royal's POV

This couldn't be happening. Not me. Not my new family. Not my babies. But it was. It was happening.

I lost one. I lost a baby.

Something went wrong and one of the babies died. I had to go through premature labor so we could at least help the living baby.

But they were both so small. So tiny. Both were around 5 pounds and 12 inches. But one was dead and I didn't understand why they were dead. It was my baby boy who was dead.

I was in a haze after Mark said one was dead. I didn't hear what was wrong. I didn't care what had happened. All I cared about was that my baby was gone. And that I couldn't do anything to bring him back. But my baby girl. At least she's alive right now. At least I can spend whatever time I might have with her before she dies.

I spent four days in the hospital. Partly because I needed to try and breast feed my baby girl. But mostly because I was medically induced to go through premature labor and that was apparently hard on a body.

But I couldn't stop thinking of my dead baby boy. We named him William Alexander. So he could have a name on the headstone. We named our baby girl Riley Grace.

Riley grew over the last few days, but I was so afraid that something could go wrong and that she could die too. But I did my best to keep her alive. Did my best to love her as much I emotionally and physically can. Even though William didn't survive, at least she did. My beautiful angel.

"Hey, Riley." I whispered to her while she was in her incubator. It helped keep her warm and help her grow. She was wide awake and had air tubes in her nose, helping her not fully developed lungs to breathe. I feel like she knew something was wrong. She clinged herself to both me and Dean when we were able to hold her. Like she knew her brother was gone and that she didn't have him to hold.

Dean walked in through the door. But I kept my eyes on Riley. "How are you holding up?" He whispered to me. I was not holding up at all. "Not well." I whispered back. "At least Riley is trying to." I tried to make him laugh. Getting him off the subject of me. But it didn't work. "Don't joke like that, Royal. It's hard for me too."

He sat next to me and looked at our daughter. At this rate, she might be able to come home within a week or two. I get to go home tomorrow morning. Which was in a few hours. But I wasn't going to leave. Not my baby.

"She's so beautiful. She's so damn beautiful." I whispered. "I just hate the fact that.. that she was growing with a brother and now she won't have one."

Dean held me. "I know. But listen. If you're up to it, maybe in a few years we can have more. This isn't uncommon. But we have Riley. I'm devastated, too, about Will. I wanted all 3 of my babies to come home. But we have to think of the bright side. We have Riley. She's alive and so are you." He told me. "What if she dies, Dean? I can't lose both of them. But what if she does? She dies, I die. I can't."

He kissed my neck, something to help me calm down. But it didn't help. "She'll survive. She's obviously made 4 days already. I know she can make these next few weeks so we can bring her home. Promise." He told me. "She's already growing so fast. That's a good sign."

I nodded. She looked at me and made a little noise. "I know, babygirl." I whispered. I gave her my finger through the little hole. She took it and held it tight. "One day, mommy and daddy will take you home with us."

She moved her mouth lightly. "M-mommy." Her little voice said. I smiled. "Yes, baby. I'm mommy." I cried. She was so smart. "You're mommy's little smart girl, aren't you?"

Dean held me closer as I cried. I couldn't hold it anymore. Not the tears or the pain. I wanted my baby boy. I wanted my baby girl to be healthy and bigger than what she was when she was born. But neither of these happened.

I cried and cried. Until I couldn't cry anymore.