Gamer Who? (BxB)

Chapter 9

"Hi..."

"Hi." Mikayla giggled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. I frowned. Fuck me, can't she just take a hint, why do I have to say it? Fuck, damnit all, shit, ass, ahjdaf.

"How's your day been?" Why am I dragging it out? Ugh. The words seemed to have died on my tongue and no new ones could be formed since a lump in my throat was keeping them back. My stomach was twisting into a knot and I haven't even said anything yet.

Mikayla chuckled awkwardly and side glanced, "Well I just woke up and the first thing you did was take me here. Behind the school. So good." She smiled. She's so dense oh, my dear God. She thinks I'm going to accept her love confession and we're going to date and be happy all days onwards. Oh, you thought.

"What about you-"

"I don't like you." I blurted out.

"What?"

"What."

Mikayla's brown eyes became wide as she looked at me in confusion. This isn't going as planned. Rehearsing in front of the mirror felt worthless now.

"I'm sorry, Kayla I-"

"Y-you don't like me back?" She stuttered out, her words became jumbled and her face had crumbled into one of distress and sadness. This is why I didn't want do this. It felt like a knife was stabbed right into my poor stomach and someone was twisting it until I couldn't breath anymore.

"I do! I do... Just not the way you want me to. I'm sorry..." I put my everything into that sorry. All my guilt, shame sympathy, everything. Like I expected, tears began to form in her eyes and she was staring right behind me. She didn't say a word yet her mouth was hanging wide open. How couldn't she expect this? I had been basically ignoring her since the day she confessed.

"B-but Paige said..." She mumbled. My brows came together. Paige said what now?

"What did Paige say?"

"She told me you like me." I bit my lip and gazed away from Mikayla. I stared at an empty bottle rolling on the ground.

"She either lied or misunderstood." I said my thoughts straight out. I didn't want to accuse Paige but how can she just convince Mikayla like this when she wasn't sure herself, or maybe she just was really, really sure and ended up being wrong. Very wrong. Mikayla listens to whatever Paige says, or what anyone says actually.

"Oh." Mikayla sniffed. I sighed and looked at her with sorrow filled eyes. I wish I could just get the most amazing, handsome, talented guy and just throw him at her. Make her smile. Make her laugh. Just... Anything. Seeing her be sad like this made it feel like I was crushed by the wheel of a car.

I feel like a dick.

We stayed in silence for a moment. What could I do? I couldn't comfort her since I literally just rejected her and I'm the reason for her waterworks. I couldn't leave because, rude. So I just waited for Mikayla to say something, to calm herself.

She took a sharp breath. "I just... I need to go." She turned her heel and began walking away with speed I didn't know she had. A question was chewing on me and I had to ask before she left.

"Wait!" She stopped but didn't face me. That hurt more than it should've.

"Are we... Like, still friends?" 

She didn't answer for a few seconds. Those few seconds were enough to leave me frozen in horror. Am I going to lose Mikayla because of this? No, no that can't happen. I won't let that happen. Please say something, Kayla. Oh, God. I don't want to lose one of my best friends.

The girl gulped and said in a low voice. "Y-yeah, I just need some time, okay?"

"Y-yeah... Yeah, okay." I watched her walk away with her shoulders down so much I wouldn't doubt she was lifting two elephants. I took a deep breath and fluttered my eyes closed. My heart was still racing.

I ran my fingers through my light brown hair and took a seat by a nearby bench. I could miss one class.

I pulled out my phone and went into Discord without hesitation. The circle around a certain individuals name indicated the colour green, meaning he's online. Thank the heavens.

"Hi." Not more than a second later he replied.

"Hey :)"

"I told the girl that liked me that I can't be with her." The adrenaline was still rushing in me. Why did I tell Max of all people? Shouldn't I have gone to Luke, I have his number and I've known him MUCH longer than I've known Max. I even told Evan a while ago, shouldn't I have gone to him? I've known him since elementary school for Christ's sake!

Yet here I am. Telling the guy I met a few days ago. I don't even know what he looks like, Jesus.

"Why not?" What?

"what"

"Why can't you be with her?" I raised a brow at that. What does he mean? We literally just talked about this yesterday, I don't like her back. Not in that way at least.

"because i dont like her like that???? we talked bout this???"

"I know, I was just wondering why you CAN'T like her instead of you DON'T like her. You make it sound like it's utterly, ridiculously impossible." I blinked at his message. Once, twice, thrice. What is he trying to suggest here?

"are u tryin' to say that im gay"

"I'm IMPLYING that you might like someone else." I gulped. I didn't know why but his suggestion made me sweat. I just hurt one of my closest friends and now Max was 'implying' that I might like someone, that someone being a guy.

"and who might that be"

"You tell me :)"

"fuck you" Indeed. Fuck you Max.

"u confuse me" I added.

"Ditto."

"deja vu" " Déjà vu"  We both sent at the same time. I cursed myself for smiling.

"i gtg, school"

"Alright, ttyl :)" I shoved my phone into my pocket again and at the same time I spotted that weird guy who likes to sleep in the halls for a hobby. He put his phone into his jeans pocket at the same time as me, he was also smiling. It was strange seeing him smile, it made him look more... Not apathetic, healthier and less tired. Basically, not himself.

I know I was going to skip the first lesson but with the way my heart was pounding I'm not sure I could keep chatting with Max. I'm horrible, I just rejected someone yet here I am, shamelessly walking around with a grin on my face.

I need to sleep more.