To All The Boys I've Loved Before

Kim Taehyung

You checked the date on the next letter.

You prepared yourself emotionally before reading. Your feelings had been pretty raw when you had written this.

If you were correct, it had only been a few days after the breakup.

You started to read.

To Kim Taehyung,

First of all, I want to apologize.

I know you'll never get this, but I need to say that I'm so, so sorry.

From the bottom of my heart, I'm asking you to forgive me.

I confused you when you didn't deserve to be confused. I hurt you, and I never wanted that to happen.

You're an amazing person; that's why I fell for you.

Remember when we first met? At the party?

That was probably the worst night of my life, but you made it so much better. You helped me through my first heartbreak.

I was sitting on somebody's couch. The music was too loud and the people were too close. I had just seen the guy I loved leave with somebody else, and I was on the verge of tears.

But then you came around.

You were wearing your lettermen and were helping some guys carry a keg stand outside.

You seemed like you had never worried about anything. You were being loud and having fun with your friends while yelling, "KEG, KEG, KEG, KEG" over and over again.

I'm surprised you walked up to me after the glare I shot you, but I'm so glad you did.

You sat down next to me and said, "Y/N, right?"

I didn't know how you knew my name, but I didn't care enough to ask.

You asked if I wanted to try out the new kegger, and I told you that that should be left to you and your idiot friends. You said you didn't drink, in fact you were the designated driver, but you were excited about the keg because they were. You also said that you agreed that they were idiots.

I laughed at your joke, but my emotions betrayed me and the laughter turned into tears.

Panic flashed in your eyes and you asked if I was crying.

Yes you idiot, I was crying.

You wrapped your lettermen around me and led me upstairs.

I didn't trust you and I thought that was a weird thing to do, but I still went upstairs. Ready to fight you if I needed to, but I went nonetheless.

We were in somebody's room and you let me cry for a bit before asking what was wrong.

I told you everything. It was unexplainable, but you seemed like someone I could trust.

I don't know how much you actually understood between sobs, but you made it seem like you knew exactly what I meant.

After I finished you gave me tissues and said "He sounds like an idiot who's definitely not worth a single one of your tears."

Soon after, some guy came and grabbed you to come hold up the keg.

You left the lettermen with me and said I could give it to you Monday.

For the next week, every time I tried giving it to you we would end up talking and I would have the jacket for another day.

I fell for your kind words and calming demeanor. You always knew what to say. Your eyes were always so sincere. I could tell right away that you genuinely cared about me.

I was over Jimin and onto you pretty fast.

Except you were different than my past two loves because, you loved me back.

After talking for quite some time, we started dating.

I'll always cherish how you would bring me little presents every week or leave drawings or notes in my locker daily.

I kept everything. It's in a box with your name on it.

You were my first kiss too.

Bet you didn't know that right?

You told me I was your first kiss, and I was too busy laughing at how unbelievable that was too tell you the same.

Everything was absolutely perfect for a couple months.

But then, it happened.

Something that should've never happened, happened.

And you had always gotten along with Jungkook so well.

I wish it would've never happened because everything was so perfect, but nothing lasts forever.

I'm not going to go into the details, because this is your letter, not his, and we both know very well what happened.

And I am so sorry that it did.

I loved you so much, and I'm sorry that I hurt you. I wish with every fiber of my being I could turn back time and stop it from happening.

But it happened.

Thank you, Kim Taehyung, for being the best first boyfriend ever.

And I'm sorry.