Nova in "Crooked Smiles Fade"

Sam Alexander and the Champions: Crooked Smiles Fade

Notes: Just my take on what could've been going on with Sam after the whole Champions Weirdworld arc, directly after Issue 27. I felt like there might've been so much going on with and for him as a character and as a hero that I wanted to try fleshing out, although, obviously, this will be entirely AU because I'm writing it with the Sam x Kamala ship. Although not related to the "Don't Panic, No, Not Yet" AU, that I should really give a name to and which has Sam and Kamala as a secret couple. Still I imagine this would be before they could get together (in this fic-verse AU anyway) because of the whole "I'm glad you're my friend" pep talk and Sam not wanting to see what's behind the mask. What was it like for them to be separated, a dimension apart and have forgotten who they were? How did losing the Nova helmet really affect their relationship? What of that moment when Ms. Marvel cheered him up?

This is what fanfiction is for, as they say.

Title is from Fall Out Boy's "The Kids Aren't Alright"

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marvel characters and the lyrics to Fall Out Boy's song, or Fall Out Boy. I'm just a fan writing fanfiction. Cover based on the Nova Knight design from the comics.

"And with the black banners raised as the crooked smiles fade

Former heroes who quit too late

That just want to fill up the trophy case again."

– The Kids Aren't Alright, Fall Out Boy

Things weren't entirely alright but he'll be okay. He was a little sure of that part now. Probably. Well, he should, after the crazy—weird—events that just happened in an alternate dimension where he'd been anything but himself. Especially after he was reminded of what it had really meant to him to be a hero. To do anything heroic. The powers? Optional. It didn't always mean that there weren't things still left to feel after all was said and done. He still wasn't Nova anymore and, the thought occurred to him bitterly even as he smiled at his team mates, maybe never be again. Give him a break, he's still just a teenager.

It's not as simple as saying "I get it now. I'll cool it. Thanks for the Snickers bar." When you'd once been that kid with the ability to literally reach for the stars, it really sucked to be leveled back down to nothing, left to watch and worry at the sidelines as your teammates go into battle. Really, maybe that was why he'd been impulsive when he jumped and attacked the mysterious man-thing in an attempt to be of use. Maybe that was what his alternate universe-self, that Nova Knight, fed on—his feeling of worthlessness. That was what he could remember before his friends found him. He wanted to be of use, he wanted to prove he could still be something even when he had no memories, and he, without a doubt, still wanted to have some kind of power. It was unsettling to think back to now. He may not have remembered the moment he was stripped away of his Nova helmet in his real life as Sam Alexander, but somehow he craved for it even in this other world. Suddenly he was there living a literal fantasy where he was unbeatable, a warrior decked in full body armor and a crystalized sword; the energy he could wield at will being all too familiar. The energy came from his body in that world. Could that mean anything in this world or is it really just his previous affiliation with the helmet? The fact that he was practically brainwashed by the Master, by Eshu, a duration of which almost felt long enough to be a lifetime with his lack of previous memories at the time, was yet another topic to chew on.

He had memories of training, duels and battles. Duels and battles he'd won without breaking so much as a sweat by the time the Champions found him and Wasp. He was the puppet of this pseudo-father. He was used and the worst of it was he was pretty sure that version of him was more than eager to have that lack of a father figure filled in by this villain. Because apart from power he knew that was something he longed for too. How many people actually died in their pursuit of "glory"? Kingdoms and many lands, he knew. It was like straight out of a fairytale or some adventure film...or video game but with the nagging, uncomfortable feeling that the "enemies" you've slain could have actually had lives. It wasn't enough to be told "Don't you worry about them, Kid." Because he felt it was real. If it wasn't for Ironheart, for his friends, and that memory...