Lovely

13. Life doesn't stop

Every second piece of strawberry I cut up went into my mouth. I had spotted my mother cutting up fruit for a fruit salad, and offered to help so that I could make myself a bowl of it as well. These moments with my mum were nice. It was just us, the air was almost silent, around hung a sense of peace. Moments like these reminded me of the beach house. I had almost forgotten how much I missed it.

"Sometimes I miss him."

My mum's voice joined the sounds of our knives on the chopping board.

"Who, mum?" I asked in a haze. I wasn't paying much attention, just focused on getting more berries into my mouth.

"Your father."

This threw me out of my haze, but I continued to chop as if she hadn't said anything at all.

"Not in any way other than having someone to rub your shoulder at the end of everyday, someone to help with dinner, having someone to keep you company. I suppose it really isn't your father I miss. Just the idea of him."

"I agree," I nodded. "Because you didn't actually like the father that I have, and he didn't like you."

She stayed quiet for a little longer.

"Why don't you just date someone?" I blurted out before she had thought of something else to say.

She merely chuckled at this.

"Me? Date? Ro, you can't be serious."

I turned to her and away from my beloved fruit.

"Mum, you're beautiful and funny and so very amazing at cooking. And you're lonely when I'm not here. You are quite capable of snagging just about anyone you want to, and it would be good for you."

She too turned away from her fruit. And with a sigh she cupped my cheek with her hand.

"I can't. I.... it feels strange."

I rested my hand on top of hers.

"I know mum. But it's been a long time. Life doesn't stop, the world doesn't stop. You pick yourself up and you keep walking. Finding love again is the next step to moving on."

She nodded in thought.

"Don't overthink it, and most importantly don't think you aren't worthy of something like that. If you think it will make you happy then chase it."

My mum chuckled again, shaking her head slightly.

"I am your mum, Ro. Shouldn't I be the one to give you advice?" I too saw the humour in this, and laughed along with her.

There were many things that I needed advice on. Many things to tell her. We went to each other for everything. I always leaned on her when something slight went wrong. She always supported me with no complaints or hesitation. But I knew that this was an instance that couldn't be about me. It was a time to focus on my mother's wounds. And so I kept my mouth shut.

"Perhaps. But we're too young to think about those things, life is too short to care. Too beautiful."

She stared at me with her lips parted until I raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Her smile grew.

"I knew a part of this town would rub off on you. Look at you, a whole new girl!"

I rolled my eyes. I had always been serious, and logical. Now here I was saying "life is too short to care". Where had I fished such claptrap? I had not the simplest clue yet all I knew was that it felt right. What I was saying sounded right.

"Don't get too happy about it. It'll wear off once I get back home."

She shrugged her shoulders, which actually meant say what you like, silly girl, but this place truly has changed you. And so soon into your stay!

We both turned back to our fruit at the same time. I thought some more about what my mother said, and what her shoulder shrug had meant. I thought about Kahlo, about Celia and Ash, all of Delilah's children. About the cicadas in the morning, the fruit trees in the backyard, how golden the sunset was. Then I thought about just how wonderful it would be to have a part of this town rub of on me.