Lovely

11. Yes. Friends

Ash had to turn the opposite way in order to go home. We yelled our goodbyes as we sped off the other way. I was expecting Celia to drop off when we passed her house, but she kept pedalling. I didn't like what that meant.

"So nice to have you for dinner," Delilah cooed when she spotted Celia dropping her bike down with ours. Celia surrendered to Del's hug. Kahlo had started to mock wrestle with the twins as soon as they jumped off of their bikes and they were now off towards the backyard. Callista had completely abandoned me for a nap. It was just Celia and I standing after Delilah left. I knew I couldn't just leave her alone. "Let's go see if Del needs help with dinner," I mumbled.

She did. We helped in silence. The times that I did look at her, she had an expression that said she did want to start a conversation but something was holding her back. It was probably how cold I was being towards her, how I avoided contact when I took the plates she handed me at all costs. The moment where I almost dropped a plate because of it must have been the tipping point. "Are you ok?" That was code for "why are you being such a bitch?"

"Yes. I'm fine."

If she were to push just a bit further, I would have broken. I would have told her everything. What I felt for her, why I was acting this way. But she didn't. She left it. I was equally happy and disappointed that she was so considerate.

Everyone was called for dinner. Even Kahlo's soft lips on mine didn't help bring up my mood. He must've sensed how icy I was feeling, how he managed to I still don't understand, because his warm fingers gently hooked mine. We sat side by side at the table, but it was the girl that sat on the other side of the table that held my attention. I was careful not to look but I could sense her. Each time she moved her arm, even when she bounced her leg. I was sensitive when it came to her. My shoulders must have been too tight, my face too pinched, because I only started to zone in on the current situation when Kahlo's hand found its way onto my knee. My eyes snapped up to his and saw that he was concerned. He searched my eyes for an answer, a hint at the turmoil I was experiencing, but he found nothing. I buried it immediately. I plastered a smile on my face, one that he didn't fully believe but let ease some of his concerns. Leaning forward to touch the corner of his mouth with my lips, I composed myself. Here was Kahlo, dear Kahlo, and my mother, and Del and Mark, and Callista, the twins, Lacie and baby Theo. All beautiful and a perfect piece of this summer. And there was Celia. I let something so minor dig itself into my skin and find warmth under it. I felt her eyes on me after that, but Kahlo's thumb stroking my knee was my anchor. I thanked the stars and the ocean and all the flowers in the garden that he existed for me.

The same thing happened after dinner. A routine, almost. We were only down one worker. And Celia offered the same thing. I silently cursed her but couldn't decide if she did it because she was so nice or because she wanted to be alone with me. She had recognised that my strings were held taut around her. When she stared me down at the dinner table, I didn't know if it was because she wanted what I had or if she merely watched with a smirk. I could never interpret her actions. I could with everyone else but with her.... she was difficult. Foreign. I was still deciding whether I hated how she could get so close to me but was always so far away when I reached out to touch her or if being so naked in her gaze took a weight off of my shoulders. I didn't like not having shelter, any defense. Regardless, we were alone since Del and my mum were a little too happy about our willingness to do the housework.

Thankfully it was silent for a large amount of time. She knew her boundary. What I didn't like was her inability to let boundaries trap her. "There really isn't anything that you could hold against me," she said thoughtfully, as if it were more to herself than to me. "No, there isn't," I muttered in reply.

"Then why are you acting strange?" It was a snap that one would expect to hear with an anger so hot and sudden that it stops you in your tracks, but she remained calm and soft. She already knew the answer, I suppose.

This time I answered with a sigh. If I couldn't tell my friends, then how could I tell her? The centre of the problem? So I said nothing. I liked the ambiguity of my sigh; it could mean "you are truly daft for thinking such a thing, but of course you do", or even "you tire me out so much that I haven't the energy to even tell you." Celia was clever indeed. She saw right through my attempt at remaining inconspicuous.

Extending a hand, she let me know just how much she had seen through me. "Whatever you are harbouring against me, let it go. We can be friends now." I looked down at her hand. My first instinct was to latch onto it but my mind held my hand in place for a few more seconds until I couldn't hold it any longer. Maybe my hesitation could throw her off a small amount. "Friends?" We both knew she didn't need to ask. She did anyway.

"Yes. Friends."