Love Marks and Hate Marks (Troyler)

Drunk

Tyler:

Say what you will about me leaving my mentally unstable friend alone in a potentially dangerous apartment, but that is not what happened. I didn't just leave Troye in someplace with razors, knives, and blades lying around. I left him in my house, after I had locked up every single potentially sharp object that could cause him harm. There was no way in hell I was taking any chances with his safety.

After a few minutes of stressful walking, I looked up and realized that I was quickly approaching my normal pub. Intaking a deep breathe, I slipped comfortably through the doors.

"I'm getting piss ass drunk tonight James!" I called out with vigor, as my sure strides brought me closer to the bar.

"Alright so what can I get you Tyler? The usual?" The burly barman responded with a wink.

"Nah man I need something strong tonight. Give me the usual tripled to start for now," My words came out muffled from where my head was resting in my hands, but James still made out my request.

"Holy shit. Tyler what the hell happened? Are you alright?" James asked me, his voice filled with concern, "I don't want you doing anything you regret tonight. How about we just start with one drink for now? Ok?" He placed his thick hand on my shoulder, reaching over the counter towards me.

"Sure whatever you want. I just need a fucking drink right now," I went along with him only because he was a good friend outside of the bar, and I knew he genuinely cared about my safety. However that still didn't soften my resolve to get drunk off my ass tonight.

Troye:

I fucked up for nothing.

I cannot believe I blew up at Tyler like that. What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I just stop and think once in a while. Why do I have to screw up everything. I can't ever do anything right. Never.

Shit shit shit shit shit shit.

Words just swarmed through my head. I couldn't think. I couldn't feel. I couldn't goddamn breathe. Sentences of failure and pain fogged up my mind. I needed to clear myself. I just had to check out from my mind for a little while, no matter the consequences.

I shuffled blindly through the apartment as tears bathed my face. My feet sounded silently on the carpeted floors, and the bathroom light turned on with a soft 'click.' A firm turn of the cool metal knob, and the faucet poured cool liquid into the sink. Fresh water mixed with the salty drops tainting my rosy cheeks.

I fumbled with the lock on the cabinet, sighing with relief as I heard the satisfying click as the door swung open. My shaking hands grabbed that brass handle for dear life, aching towards the reprieve that the blade would give my tortured mind. Confusion entered my hazy state when my fingers came upon handfuls of air and dust. My blade! Where was it? I left it right there, hidden against the back wall!

I couldn't find it.

My labored breathing sped up, and the room seem to spin, as I itched franticly at my sides. I scratched and ripped open the still fresh scabs covering body. I needed the pain to clear my head. I needed the pain to ground me, and keep me steady.

I searched the whole friggin apartment and nothing even slightly sharp had been left out.

He locked up everything.

Damn you Tyler for being a smart asshole!

He has gone to the extent of hiding the butter knives where I could not find them. How the hell would I have done any harm with a butter knife?

Where the hell was everything? How could the petite man have hidden it all?

I started to get really angry at Tyler. The dipshit even went and took my entire bag.

Fuck it, if Tyler was getting drunk tonight, so was I.

A/n

Hey guys

So it is Vicki!!!!!

I am so sorry about the long wait, I normally don't wait this long, but I will have to say that this story will have slower updated than the rest of my stories. This should most likely be the longest you guys have to wait for an update though. I intend to get something up at least once a week, and I'm thinking that the weekends are going to be when new chapters are up. I apologize for the wait, and for the length of this chapter. I will try in the future to make faster longer updates. BYE LOVIES!!!!!!!! See y'all soon!!! <3 ;)